I often question the realities of my mind.

LOL SUPER HERO AKUROKU

2008-09-25T23:56:53Z

Inferno
Commission by Amy Mills

'In other news, The Inferno was spotted outside of Midgar late last night in the clutches of Maelstrom's wind. After a perilous battle, neither man was seen. Could The Inferno's flame have been extinguished for the last time? Find out more tonight.'

Roxas scowled at the news report, watching the shaky video of a figure dropping to its knees inside of a vicious cyclone before it cut out to lead into the next news reel. He flicked the power button on the remote before tossing it on the couch, grabbing his knapsack from the loveseat and heading for the door. His skateboard was leaning against the wall beneath the key rack- courtesy of Sora's innate tendency to tidy everything but his own room.

Snatching it up, Roxas made sure to lock the front door as soon as he closed it behind himself, jogging down the steps to catch sight of Axel waiting in the driveway, one hand on the handlebars of his motorcycle, the other absently scratching at a band-aide on his chin.

Roxas rolled his eyes as he moved to stuff his skateboard as awkwardly as he could into his bookbag, slinging it back over his shoulder when he was satisfied with the wheeled contraption sticking halfway out the top.

"Was your dad drinkin' again last night?" He asked, watching Axel's face light up at the sight of his friend, reaching to the back of the motorcycle to grab the spare helmet that was inside of his satchel. He tossed it to Roxas, answering lightly. "Yeah, somethin' like that. You know dad."

Roxas stuffed the helmet over his head, mildly disgruntled at the feeling of his gelled hair poking into his forehead and cheeks. He lifted the visor as Axel clambered onto the front of the bike. "Your dad's a dick." His muffled voice grumbled, hopping on behind Axel and twisting his fingers into the back of his friend's shirt

. Axel turned on the ignition, the motorcycle's loud engine drowning out the redhead's response in lieu of turning in the driveway and taking off down the road and towards the school. The ride was made in silence- mostly because Roxas hated yelling over the engine and trying to hear Axel through the strong padding of his helmet. When they reached the school, Roxas hopped off, wrenching the helmet from his head and instantly trying to adjust his hair as well as he could

Axel released an overly exhasperated sigh at his companion's antics, "I've got work today, so I can't give you a ride home, don't forget." Roxas scowled, helmet clacking as he handed it back to Axel. "I remember. I brought my skateboard for a reason."

His answer was a noncommital shrug, Axel fingering with the chipping paint of his spare helmet before he hooked it on the handlebars. "Just making sure..." He grumbled, face contorted into a pained look. Rolling his eyes, Roxas shot his hand out to punch Axel in the shoulder, earning an exaggerated wince. "Don't be such a baby. I'm heading for class. Don't wait up." Having said that, he cheerily bumped fists with a humored Axel, hopping over the parking median and jogging towards the open campus.

Considering Axel's tendency for toeing the speed limit, they'd barely arrived before the first bell, judging by the way students were scattering about to get to their class on time. Hayner was waiting impatiently outside of the gym, already dressed out and scowling profusely, tonguing what looked like a split lip. Roxas's blatant stare had Hayner's chestnut eyes narrowing before he shoved angrily at the taller boy's chest. "Shut up, ass."

Roxas couldn't help the wry grin that pulled onto his face as they stepped into the gym's hallway, meandering for the locker rooms. "So, did you get that one in Struggle, or in struggling?" He quipped, instantly recieving a palm to the upside of his head and laughing loudly. Hayner shoved Roxas against the wall, storming into the gym with a single finger as his departing wave.

Roxas bit back his smile, heading for the locker rooms to change into his gym clothes. He never bothered to question Hayner's association with their school's Struggle captain, Seifer Almasy, because he feared the consequences that would be answered through his best friend's fist. (and possibly another shampoo-cum-suprise hair dye incident)

Stuffing his backpack into his locker, Roxas was secretly relieved that nobody was in the locker room to watch him jump up and down until he could actually reach the top of the lockers to put his skateboard on them, out of reach and out of sight from anyone who might be less than moral.

Slipping out of the locker room, he cheerily greeted Tidus as the Blitzball star struggled with a seemingly finicky drink machine as it popped out a water bottle in lieu of soda, as it should have done.

Slipping into the gym, he nodded at their coach, Auron, and jogged over to the volleyball net that had been set up for anyone willing to play. Hayner was at the front, adjacent to Seifer as they continued to batter the poor ball, trying to one-up the other.

Roxas wasn't sure if he pitied the other players or the volleyball itself more, as Seifer dived in front of Olette to smack the ball up and over the net. Olette had shrieked in surprise, smacking him in the shoulder. Seifer ignored her, instead running up to punch the volleyball back again. Roxas contemplated joining the older blond boy's side, just to tick Hayner off, but decided against it when Hayner ran smack into an oblivious Rikku in a mad scramble to hit the ball back.

Roxas shuffled over, waving at Demyx, who was in his own world, headphones over his ears and dancing around a small crowd of students to entertain them. He turned just in time to see Hayner running at him, gaze directed on the white ball sailing through the air. Eyes widening in shock, he barely had time to sidestep Hayner, grimacing when his leg caught against his friend's ankle.

Hayner toppled forward, skidding across the gym with a shout of surprise. Seifer's laughter echoed inside of the gym, causing a mortified fluster to overcome the short blond. Roxas apologized profusely, reaching out to help his friend up as Hayner muttered angrily to himself, an embarassed chuckle escaping him a minute later as he wriggled Roxas' arm off and jogged after the askew volleyball.

Roxas shrugged indifferently, continuing his path towards the corner of the gym that Zexion sat in, book in hand. The dark-haired boy gave him a curt nod in greeting, and Roxas plopped down on the gym floor beside him, muttering to his companion about how ridiculous it was for the bleachers to be pulled back during the school day. Zexion gave him a noncommittal shrug, flipping the page in his book

Roxas leaned against the wall, opting to watch his friends continue to play.

His thoughts wandered to that morning's news cast, worry gnawing at the back of his mind when he thought of how helpless that barely visible outline of The Inferno seemed to look inside of the relentless cyclone. He pulled his knees up to his chest. Their entire county seemed to be littered with what was, literally, superhumans.

The first few had shown up when Roxas was in seventh grade. He and Axel used to run all the way to Roxas' house every day to watch the news in awe at the destructive power of what they now knew as Freeshooter and Maelstrom.

They were far from innocent- considering how almost ten people had gone missing, replaced by new villains with new powers. During their ninth grade year, Roxas had flown into hysterics when Axel had disappeared off the face of the earth for eight days.

They'd called the police, contacted the newspaper, and Roxas had gone as far as to make ridiculous flyers with a picture of Axel playing with his cat, asking to call the given number if he was sighted. On the ninth day, Axel had called Roxas from his house, explaining that he'd merely gotten lost in the woods when he went to help some kid find his dog. Roxas had berated him and slapped him until Axel had locked himself in the bathroom in fear of the blond's rage at his utter foolishness.

After Roxas' worry had subsided, however, he'd burst into tears of relief and blubbered on for a half hour that he'd been worried for Axel's welfare, and that the 'Nobodies' had gotten ahold of him like they to his neighbor, Saix. Of course, Axel had explained that he hadn't meant to disappear for so long, but he had lost track of time, and that all the trees really did look the same in YenSid's forest.

Somewhere in the middle of that same year, another suppossed villain had appeared. However, it was quickly established -- once he visibly punched the Diviner in the face on national television -- that The Inferno was more of a hero than a villain.

Not long after, Tsunami and Synthesis had appeared in a few fights to lend The Inferno a helping hand -- though on occasion, the water-weilding Nobody would turn around in the midst of a fight and throw a volley of water in The Inferno's face before running off with whomever they happened to be fighting at the time.

Of course, Roxas had experienced his fair share of encounters with both The Inferno and a handful of the self-proclaimed Nobodies. This included a very heated run-in a mere week ago, when Freeshooter had taken aim into a crowd of people and threatened to kill them if The Inferno didn't come willingly. Roxas, being the foolish teenager that he was, had taken an apple out of the lunchbag in his hand and thrown it at the one-eyed man, clocking him in the side of the head and earning a gun pointed at his face.

However, before he could fire, The Inferno had tackled Roxas into the road and pushed him out of harm's way. For that split second, he'd felt every contour of the man's lean body beneath the form-fitting clothing, and had wished pathetically that the man didn't wear a helmet to hide his face.

Roxas' cheeks burst into a furious blush at the mere memory of The Inferno's heartbeat fluttering against Roxas' collarbone before the blond had been told to stay out of the way, though the man's voice was distorted and muffled through the helmet.

Roxas buried his face into his knees, berating himself for acting like a childish girl.

He supposed it didn't help the situation that he'd been utterly infatuated with Axel since the eigth grade, and that the appearance of the Inferno had been the only thing to distract the skateboarding blond from thoughts of his best friend.

"Heads up!" Roxas peeked up to watch a Volleyball sail overhead, involuntarily squawking and jerking out of the way as it smacked into Zexion's shoulder.

Hayner jogged up, grabbing the ball and apologizing to Zexion, who seemed to have barely taken note of the volleyball's attack. Roxas grinned wryly, though he couldn't help but impatiently wait for the end of the day to come. He honestly had no desire to stay in school when The Inferno could be somewhere dying, and with nobody to help him.

The bell came soon enough, and Roxas shuffled through his day with anticipation. He went so far as to ask his Television Communications teacher if they could watch the news while they worked on editing their videos. Axel had given him an odd look before returning to his music video about The Inferno, and Roxas and scrunched his nose at his friend's obvious infatuation with the superhero.

He was convinced, no matter how much Axel denied it, that the redhead had a blatant crush on the fire-casting hero. It made jealousy coil in his gut, though Roxas wasn't sure who he was jealous of when the thought came to him, which was more of a dillema than Axel's ridiculous adoration of the young superhero.

By the time his last class had rolled around, Roxas had his skateboard underfoot and was sliding it back and forth beneath the desk, somewhat grateful that his history teacher, Mr. Valentine, hardly bothered to show enough emotion to be irritated by the scraping sound that the action generated.

Hayner, on the other hand, voiced his irritation in the form of sliding down in his seat behind Roxas and kicking the skateboard out from underneath of his friend's foot, causing it to shoot forward and smack into the back of Yuna's heels. The brunette girl shrieked in surprise, whirling around and giving Roxas a whithering glare. Roxas shrugged apologetically, toeing the skateboard back to its previous position and watching the clock impatiently. He'd already put away his classwork, prepared to depart the second that the day was over.

Hayner seemed to have a similar impatience- though his was an everyday occurence, and when the final bell actually let out its shrill ring, both boys were fighting to get to the door first, before Hayner shoved Roxas against the trash can by the door, casuing the taller blond to fall uncerimoniously to the ground with the bin on top of him, scattering papers everywhere.

Hayner cackled loudly, taking a second to pick up the trash can before he shoved his way past students to get outside. Roxas picked himself up, huffing in embarassment and apologizing to Mr. Valentine while picking up the scattered papers and returning them to the trash bin. He dropped his skateboard on the ground upon leaving the classroom, intent on catching to Hayner before his friend reached the street.

Hayner was waiting outside the school gates when Roxas finally arrived. Grinning, the struggle fighter held a fist out to Roxas, and the taller blond bumped their knuckles together before Roxas spoke up. "I wanna get home in time for the four o'clock news. Somethin' happened last night to the Inverno and I wanna see if they've got any updates. Wanna come over?" Hayner seemed to contemplate this for a moment, rolling the idea around in his head. "I dunno, man. Seifer said he was gonna help me with that history project Mr. Val gave us last week, he's supposed to come over at five, and my room's a mess." Roxas quirked a brow, earning an embarassed punch to the shoulder from Hayner as the darker blond dropped his skateboard to the ground and stepped onto it.

"Shut up. The guy's a neat freak with everything. I'm surprised he doesn't have a coronary everytime he sees a mirror because that scar messes up the symmetry of his face or something." Roxas trailed after Hayner, their boards rolling lazily down the sidewalk and towards the Marketplace. Roxas wiggled his legs enough for the skateboard to swerve a little in order for him to keep up with Hayner.

"Maybe he thinks it makes him more distinguished?" Roxas offered, and Hayner shot him an odd look, snorting loudly. "If that's what you call it."

They cut through the Marketplace, swerving around the odd pedestrian and conversing cheerily until they reached Roxas' house. Hayner gave his friend a curt goodbye before skating off down the street and towards his own home. It would probably require all afternoon to make his room even remotely up to Seifer's obsessive compulsive standards. Roxas stuffed a hand into his front pocket to retrieve his key, the other going to knock rapidly on the door. Instantly, he could hear frantic barking from the other side as his dog tried to stop the intruder from coming inside. Unlocking the door, Roxas swung it open and flew his arms apart with a manic grin.

"Max!" He yelled with false cheer, causing the fair-haired golden retriever to run in a small circle and give a small jump in place. He knelt down, hands going to scratch lovingly at the dog's ear, grimacing when Max's tongue eagerly lapped at his cheek and mouth.

"Max, that's rude!" He groaned, shoving the dog's head away from his face in vain. Max returned with even more effort, and Roxas patted his head and stood, shutting the door behind himself and making his way for the living room. He tossed his bookbag onto the loveseat, making a snatch for the remote control and turning the news on. A scowl pursed his lips when the weekly weather report came on through the speakers. He tossed the remote control back onto the couch and headed for the kitchen, intent on preparing himself something edible before his brothers and father came home from work.

Max whined, following him to the kitchen and standing in the doorway to watch Roxas putter around. The blond grumbled in annoyance, tossing a stale slice of bread to the retriever- despite how much his father discouraged the action- and returned to his task of preparing a formidable sandwich.

'/In other news, The Inferno has yet to be spotted after his encounter last night with Maelstrom./' Roxas dropped his knife mid-mayo spread, jogging out of the kitchen and shoving Max out of the way. He clutched to the back of the couch in anticipation as the video from that morning was played again while the news reporter continued to speak.

'/Sources tell us that Maelstrom had been caught in the middle of trying to kidnap a young girl when The Inferno appeared, stopping the man from taking another victim. The fight lasted about thirty minutes before Maelstrom was able to create a cyclone in mid-air, surrounding the Inferno and extinguishing the hero's flame. However, when the cyclone was finally stopped, neither men were to be seen./'

Roxas watched as The Inferno fell to one knee beneath the winds, objects flying about and blocking him from view momentarily. Suddenly, the camera fizzed for a few seconds as a particurlarly s trong gust hit it, and when it came back into focus, both the cyclone and The Inferno were gone, leaving only a few scattered objects in their wake. Roxas nibbled on his lower lip, brows furrowing in anxiety.

'/Following the destruction, nearby SOLDIERS came in to ascertain crowd control. General Sephiroth had little to say on the matter./'

Roxas knew Sephiroth from word of mouth -- mostly because his oldest brother was training to become a SOLDIER, and had experienced more than his fair share of run-ins with the famous general. He wasn't particurlary fond of the man, but Cloud had always had an odd infatuation with the seemingly invincible SOLDIER.

Sephiroth's face remained impassive as a microphone was shoved into his face.

'/ We may not have apprehended the vigilante or his destructive accomplice as of yet, but SOLDIER is determined to have both men, along with the rest of their law-breaking group, in custody within the next few months./' Roxas snorted, remembering clearly how it had only been a few weeks prior that the General had claimed that The Inferno was employing the Nobodies to be villains so that he could be some kind of superhero.

Roxas had seen enough fights to understand that The Inferno was /wanted/ by the Nobodies. Why- he wasn't sure, but he knew full well that it was going to be a cold day in Hell before the fire-caster would voluntarily follow in their footsteps.

He scowled, turning from the television to finish making his snack, listening as General Sephiroth continued to ramble on about the injustice of superhuman monsters being allowed to freely roam the earth. Putting everything away once he was finished, Roxas grabbed a bag of chips out of the pantry, kicking the fridge with his heel to close it and meandering into the living room with his sandwich.

There was a video playing of Synthesis pulling Freeshooter away from The Inferno with a cluster of vines, followed by another short video of the plant-controlling man doing almost the exact opposite as the news reporter continued to ramble on about The Inferno's 'unreliable allies'. Roxas snorted, putting his plate and chips down and scowling with realization that he'd forgotten a soda.

The front door opened, slamming shut not long after as the sound of Cloud muttering into the phone reached the blond's ears. The television went silent before Roxs could make it back out of the kitchen, muted by the older Strife. Roxas placed the can beside his sandwhich, walking around to sit on the couch and wait for Cloud to leave the room.

"So you don't know where you are or how you got there... but you're dressed as Santa and children are crying.... right." Cloud murmured, gesturing at Roxas to keep the television's volume down before he wandered off into his own room, shutting the door with the heel of his boot. Roxas waited for a few seconds before he grabbed the remote and turned the sound back on, making sure to lower it slightly as he began flipping through stations.

Not long after his sandwhich had been digested and he'd munched his way through a good portion of barbeque chips, the front door opened to reveal a disgruntled looking Sora, who held Roxas' skateboard in hand, setting it against the wall beside the door. "You're gonna get that stolen one day, y'know." The brunet lectured as soon as he realized that Roxas was watching him. Rolling his eyes, Roxas sunk down into the couch.

"I don't think anyone is going to want to steal a skateboard, Sora." He scooted over to make room for the older boy, watching Sora flop tiredly into the cushions and lean his head back. "Don't ever be a waiter, Rox. Even /I/ don't have enough happiness for them."

Roxas laughed softly, taking a glance at the small clock above the television and opting to call Axel. He handed the remote to Sora, standing up and digging around in his pockets until he found his cell. "I'm gonna call Axel." Sora grunted his acknowledgement and Roxas left the room, flipping the phone open and hitting Axel's speed dial number.

After the third ring, Roxas began to contemplate whether he should hang up or leave a message. In the midst of the fourth ring, however, Axel answered with a breathless "Hey Rox, can I call you back in uh-" He cut himself off and Roxas' eyes narrowed at the sound of shuffling and Axel grunting.

"Can I just call you back later?" Axel yelped into the phone, "I'm kinda busy."

Roxas stepped into his room. "Uh. sure. bye." If Axel had heard him, Roxas wasn't sure, the display screen flashing 'call ended' in bright letters. He sighed, tossing his phone onto the bed and pulling his computer chair back to slip into it, pressing a thmb against the power button as the '98 began to start up with an agonizing groan.

Elbows resting on the old desk, Roxas sat his chin into the palm of one hand, the other going to rest impatiently on the old gray mouse. His dad was too concerned with Roxas getting good grades to let the youngest blond actually get a job, and so he was stuck with Cloud's old computer from when the oldest sibling had been in school.

Granted, Struggle season wasn't until Spring, and it was hardly halfway into the Fall season, so Roxas had nothing better to do than to peruse the literature websites that he had bookmarked. One of them so happened to be a local website, dedicated to following the recent events of both The Inferno and the entire Nobody syndiacate. He was quite fond of the artwork section, where he knew that Zexion often posted to, mostly with art of Tsunami. He'd been surprised to find it at first, amazed by the intricatedetail and the way he seemed to make the water-weilding villain almost sexual in each piece of art.

Roxas himself frequented the literature category, having loaded it with his own stories when he wasn't busy with schoolwork or hanging out with either Axel or Hayner. The blond had been pleasantly surprised at the number of people on their coast that weren't against the implication of The Inferno being homosexual -- considering his story was based around the hero's relationship with an imaginary male character that Roxas had concocted on one of his more... creative days.

After waiting the required ten minutes that it took for his computer to finally load his instant messengers and be operateable without definite lag, Roxas opened his email, delighted to find three more comments left on the latest chapter of his story.

UNFINISHED -shot-</cut>

ORgaSM

2008-01-17T03:33:43Z

Stumble

2007-12-31T05:38:20Z

Unfinished. but this is what I have so far. :D

Stumble
Over the course of many years, Sora had gradually come to the realization that no matter how alone he felt, how empty inside and out of touch with people he could be, that he could always find solace in his writing.Whenever he'd initially moved away from Twilight Town and to Destiny Islands, Sora had fallen into a depression. It had been induced from losing the daily contact with his best friend, Roxas, and being forced into a completely different environment. Where Twilight Town had been filled with gangs, liberals and high school dropouts, Destiny Islands was full of sports-loving beach junkies. The students were permitted to wear sandals to school and members of the blitzball team were idolized.

Roxas had dropped out from Twilight High whenever his father had died, but the blond had only done so in order to take a paying job to help pull his weight around their apartment. Not long after, Sora's parents had decided to move him out of his home town and drag him all the way across the world to a little island where new sitcoms were the biggest thing and the most popular kid in school could surf like a professional, but couldn't add two plus two.

It had taken a good two years for Sora to adapt to being friends with beach boys and teeny-bopper girls, and he was quite well known throughout the school for being exuberant and easy to get along with. However, Sora had yet to find another person like Roxas that he could connect with, and found most of his free nights sitting at home at the computer. It was the reason Sora had been pleased to get a job at the local surf-shop, interacting with his peers while ringing up boogie boards and swimsuits.

No matter how much Sora could keep himself occupied, it seemed as if every day was a repeat of the previous one, and it sometimes would send the brunet into a sinking depression. Today was one of those days, and Sora found himself seated in the corner of the gym during his last period, notebook in one hand and pen in the other as he scribbled down bits and pieces of a story that he and Roxas had discussed on the phone the previous night. Nearly a year ago, they'd both decided to finally combine their heads to write a story filled with action, adventure, romance and everything that the average teenager secretly desired. Sora found himself constantly filled with ideas for developments in their story, and they'd written hundreds of pages already. It wasn't anywhere near finished, but Sora hoped that one day it could be published into a book and made into a movie.

"Heads up!" Sora glanced up just in the nick of time, gasping and ducking his head as a blitzball whizzed a hair above him, smacking into the wall and then plopping none-too-gently into his lap. He scowled at the offending object, putting down his notebook to lift the blitzball up and examine it. A pair of sneakers stopped in front of him and Sora looked up to lock eyes with sheepish aquamarine ones. "Sorry about that." The teen said, his cheeks flushed with exertion, most likely. Sora tossed the ball up to him and the boy apologized again, running a hand through silver hair before blurting out, "Did you wanna play?" Sora looked mildly surprised, resisting the urge to throw his books down and instead shaking his head.

"Sorry, I have this thing I gotta write." He said, shrugging weakly. The boy looked disheartened but bobbed his shoulders up and down. "Alright then." He said almost too-softly for Sora to pick up, and began jogging back to his small group of friends when his name was called.

Sora watched them for a moment longer before looking back down at his notebook, sighing at the multitude of still-blank pages. He clicked the lead into his pencil and thought for a moment, before writing down a name. The story had two main characters, both of them were parodies of Roxas and himself. Alas, they were well aware that it still needed romance, but Sora had been reluctant to create an entire man just for himself. He didn't want to be so selfish- even though Roxas already had Lae's design entirely filled out and complete with a back story- Sora decided now was as good a time as any, and scribbled down a trial name.

Kiru.

Sora knew exactly what he wanted in a boyfriend. He'd had enough time to himself that he was able to sort out the aspects of the female race that he didn't like, why he didn't like them, and why he would prefer a boy. He knew he wanted a boy who was strong, but not so strong that they couldn't wrestle and have the entire thing be completely one-sided. He wanted someone who understood Sora's humor, but wasn't an idiot. He wanted a guy who could play sports, read books and sit with Sora in a movie theater and not let his hands wander. Sora wanted a guy that wasn't down on himself all the time - he'd had enough pessimists back in Twilight Town to last him a lifetime - but not someone that always took life as a joke.

Sora began to write. From his pencil flowed the most detailed character he'd ever made completely out of his imagination. He didn't stop writing until the final bell rang and students instantly fled the gym. Sora gathered his book bag, sticking his pencil into the pocket of his mildly-ripped jeans and hurriedly exiting the gym. Even though he was a senior, Sora could hardly afford a car, let alone buy the laptop that he desired. Instead, he resorted to taking the bus every day to and from school while saving up his money earned from working in Cid's car shop when he wasn't working at Surfer's Blitz. That was where he found solace -- amidst the older man's crabbing and bitching about Sora's lack of skills in changing tires quickly and efficiently -- Sora had come to the realization that he always had time to think clearly when he was under the hood of a car, tinkering with its mechanics and getting his hands covered in grease.

Sora tugged his headphones out of his pocket, slipping them into his ears and somehow managing to keep hold of his books at the same time. He pulled on the chord to tug his mp3 player out of his pocket, snatching it up and hitting play a second before the brunet was pulled into the traffic of kids. He shifted and bumped his way to the bus area, scoping out his own bus and hopping up the steps, eyes landing on his assigned seat behind the driver and sliding into it.

He leaned his head against the window, eyes slipping shut as the familiar sound of foreign rock music blasted into his head. All around him, kids that lived in his neighborhood shouted and threw paper balls at each other before the bus driver snapped at them to shut up and sit down. It had become routine - and Sora allowed himself to succumb to his music when the bus started up and they began to pull out of the school.

He'd always been one to look for music that most fit what he was feeling at that time, and as images of his faux-boyfriend flitted in his head, Sora's lips moved softly to the chorus of one of the few songs that struck him as something that should have hit the charts better than it did.

"You are the one." He whispered softly, his brows furrowing, "You'll never be alone again; You're more than in my head.You're more..." As the chorus repeated, Sora pressed his head into the window, a wave of sorrow washing over him as the brunet poured more emotion into his soft-spoken whisper than he knew was wise. He released a soft breath of air then the song finished. A song, one that Roxas had suggested, called 'Can't Stop' by The Red Hot Chili Peppers started up, and Sora opened his eyes.

Some sick form of macabre horror rose into his pale eyes, watching something large and black coming straight for the other side of the bus as the drums of the song began to pick up. His heart quickened, a scream tearing through his mouth and joining the yells of the other students as the bus lurched at the same time that the song burst out into the main part. Sora clutched to his seat, concentrating on the music at the same time that the bus began to tilt over.

Kids screamed, slipping down onto Sora's side of the bus, and the brunet vaguely recognized Tidus' terrified face before the blitzball player fell onto him. Sora's breath escaped his chest in a whoosh, Tidus's hair getting into Sora's eyes as everything span. The volume of the song barely matched the loud, frightened yells and screams of the other students on the bus. Sora clutched to his seat, one hand instantly wrapping around Tidus' shoulders to hold his friend in place when the bus hit the side, glass shattering everywhere and some of it flying up to cut Sora's cheek and arm. Pain flared up in an instant, and the momentum of the impact sent Sora's head cracking against the metal strip next to the window. Tidus clutched to him, his voice a mantra of "Oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God!"

It was like watching everything from a dream, the music playing in the background as the creak of metal and broken glass matched sobs, screams, yelling, and pleads of teenagers. The bus still rocked unsteadily, now entirely on its side, and Tidus had yet to release his vice grip on Sora. The brunet's head stomach lurched, everything spinning unsteadily before he registered the soft 'ahhhh' from the song that still played on his headphones, another spike of pain flaring up in his head before everything went black.
When Sora woke up, it was a sudden jerk into consciousness, a panic filling him before he even knew why he would be feeling it. His mp3 player was playing a fast-paced song he instantly recognized as being from a movie he'd been fond of. His eyes darted wildly around himself, taking in the sight of broken glass and bodies scattered and strewn all over the interior of the bus. His vision cleared, and Sora suddenly realized that the shadows that were draped all over the bus were moving. Sora couldn't restrain the shriek of surprise that escaped him, scrambling backwards with a sudden panic as one of the small and humanoid shadows fell down onto Tidus' prone form, its small claws digging into the blonde's back. There was nothing on its face except two yellow orbs that concentrated on where its inhuman claws sunk inside of the blitzball player's body.

Sora couldn't help but feel horrified, unable to move - to tear his eyes from the sight - and his breathing quickened into a panicked and uneven series of gasps, watching as a light began to burst from Tidus' body. The creature retracted its hands, something bright and glowing inside of the little claws. Terror was so evident to Sora that it was nearly asphyxiating him to watch the small monster lift the glowing ball, its head separating to reveal a hole for a mouth, dripping with darkness. The thing shoved the glowing orb into its mouth, hiding the light instantly as Tidus' body shuddered and went still.

A scream tore itself from Sora's mouth and the brunet scrambled back, his body hitting the roof of the bus, his stomach heaving dryly. The teen clutched to his abdomen, his other hand holding his mouth as another empty retch coiled from his stomach, a gagging sound escaping him. His heart fluttered wildly in his chest, and Sora couldn't stop the pools of tears that began to gather in his frightened azure eyes.

The black creature gazed at Sora with golden eyes, inching forward, tiny claws reaching out for the brunet. Sora darted his gaze to see the other creatures slowly crawling towards him, and searched frantically for the nearest emergency exit. Finding it, the brunet scrambled across the broken windows, cutting up his hands and jeans in a wild attempt to reach the roof exit.

The creatures began to draw in closer, and Sora tugged and pushed on the red lever until the small door popped open. He wriggled through it, shouting out when he felt something tug on his leg, and kicked his foot wildly before falling completely out of the small doorway.

He hit the ground with a thud, pain shooting up in crippling flares as the glass that had previously stuck in his hands were forced deep into his palms. Sora's fingers trembled, and he hurriedly looked behind himself to see the shadow monsters creeping from inside of the bus to get to him. Sora gasped, his eyes tearing up in a twisted mixture of pain and terror.

He pushed himself to his feet, hands shaking so badly that he couldn't even clench them into fists. Before Sora could even make it very far there was another shock of agony that struck him in the back. He screamed, hands twitching wildly and falling to his knees. His eyes searched around frantically, catching sight of a thin, yellow and black-armored soldier standing over him, its golden eyes sightless and a large, blood-tipped and crooked lance held in black claws.

With a gasp of terror, the brunet teen tried to scramble away without falling down or using his hands. The creature followed, its armor clacking loudly with the movements. Sora knew he was becoming hysterical- unsure of what to do or how to react as hundreds of ant-like shadows began to swarm around him, as if obeying the commands of the odd soldier-looking monster.

Sora tripped over a CD player that must have flown from the wreckage of the bus, cupping his arms to his body and protecting his already damaged-hands when he hit the ground shoulder-first, head cracking against the pavement and his world spinning out of focus. In a second, the lance was pointed at Sora's prone form and the monsters struck.

For a second, Sora was sure that he was going to die in the midst of chaos- feeling little claws tearing at his clothes, and soul-shattering agony ripping through him as their nails began to dig into his chest, ripping the skin above his heart, as if digging for something. He was almost positive that the screaming he heard was his own- but Sora felt disconnected from it all.

A flash of light burst through the writhing mass of shadows, and Sora- instantly- thought he'd finally succumbed to death. There was a series of awful and inhuman shrieks before someone's hand was grabbing to his shoulder, shaking it furiously, while another hand - Sora noted the feel of strong callouses - pressed gently against his chest, shivers of pain ricocheting through Sora's body at the touch.

"Heal." A deep, gentle voice whispered softly. Within a second, Sora felt soothing waves trickle over him- making it easier to breathe as the pain in his chest dulled. The hands left his chest and shoulder, only to grasp at his left arm, fingers gently touching at Sora's tattered palm. His eyes clenched shut- but soon flickered open as his savior uttered the same word as before, and he felt his body force the glass shards out, the pain disappearing quickly. He looked up, eyes focusing on a head of silver hair, a strong chin and jaw, and thin, pursed lips. The person above him - a young man, no doubt - turned to grab Sora's other hand, repeating the action and healing his injuries.

Coherency sharply returned as the numbing pain left his body, and Sora quickly moved to sit up. The boy before him reached out, helping Sora to sit, and watching him with wary eyes. "Are you alright now?" The boy asked- looking as if it were dire that Sora be in prime condition.

Hesitation struck him at first, but Sora nodded. "I'm... yeah- I'm good."

A flicker of relief darted over aquamarine eyes, and the silver-haired teen stood quickly, pulling Sora to his feet without a word in edgewise from the brunet. "Then can you run? The heartless won't be stopped for very long." There was urgency in the very way that the boy spoke, and Sora nodded.

"Yeah- I think so... heartless?"

"No time." Was his answer, and in an instant, they were running. Running from the wreckage- from the dead bodies strewn on the streets, and past stopped cars and through red traffic lights covered in more of the shadow-like creatures. They left what Sora knew- left behind Tidus' lifeless form and away from the very notebook that Sora cherished so dearly.

Sora gasped as realization struck, stopping instantly. "My notebook!" He cried out, despair hitting him with a force to be reckoned with. The boy in front of him stopped also, turning to give Sora a look of confusion and tugging on the brunet's wrist in an attempt to get Sora running again. The shorter teen refused, however, and pulled his hand out of his savior's grasp.

"I have to get my notebook!" Sora responded, his voice apologetic as he turned, running back through the wreckage and hysteria and towards the bus. He could hear the silver-haired boy running behind him, yelling for Sora to stop, and not to be crazy, that there were too many heartless around that area. Sora disregarded all of this- his panic hitting him even as he dodged attacks by the monsters with golden eyes and sharp weapons- all of them trying to get at Sora's heart.

Sora reached the emergency exit of the bus, kicking back another small shadow monster and scrambling back inside just as the silver-haired boy grabbed his ankle, pulling. "We have to get out of here, kid!" He yelled, though his voice was muffled from the other side, Sora wriggled his foot wildly- though it was in vain when he realized that his savior's grip was steadfast. "Please!" He cried out, hoping that the other boy could hear him through the metal of the bus. "I have to get my notebook!" He cried, despair crawling inside of him as the monsters began to climb towards were Sora was now trapped halfway inside of the bus.

The grip on his ankle seemed to loosen just a fraction- as if his savior had hesitated in his resolve. He instantly took advantage, wriggling the rest of the way into the bus and making sure to grab the sides of the seats so that he wouldn't cut his hands open again. He crawled around the large bench-like seats, his foot lashing out to kick at an armor-clad monster, It did little to stop the creature, but gave Sora enough time to run around it and reach his backpack, snatching it up and dumping the contents out in an attempt to find his book. Catching sight of the little journal, Sora picked it up just in time to hear a voice yelling for him to hurry.

He whirled around- seeing the silver-haired boy watching him anxiously. Sora hurried back, screaming in surprise when one of the shadows dropped down from the 'roof' and landed on top of his head. Free hand flying up, Sora all-but flung the creature from him, adrenaline kicking in and causing the brunet to make a mad dash to where his savior had a hand out, reaching for Sora in an attempt to try and urge the boy to hasten his pace.

Sora reached out, grabbing the boy's hand and allowing himself to be hoisted through the small doorway. With a shout of surprise, he tumbled over the other side, landing in a pair of strong arms that helped him to stand upright.

"Now come on, or I'm leaving you here." Though there was a strong enough threat in the statement- the way that the taller boy said it made Sora think that he didn't really mean it. Sora nodded, clutching tightly to his notebook and allowing himself to be pulled through the same morbid scenery once more.

Just when he thought he could run no more and his knees buckled just the slightest bit as less and less oxygen reached his body, they stopped. Sora payed no heed to his surroundings, dropping his notebook to his feet and grasping tightly to his knees as he greedily took in air, the slightest sheen of sweat trickling down his neck and along his forehead.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, eyes darting up to see the silver-haired teen watching him with some odd form of concern. Sora waved him off, however, and picked his notebook off of the ground. He straightened up, eyes finally falling onto something he knew didn't come from anywhere on Earth.

A ship- something oddly shaped and brightly colored- sat in a small alcove between two large palm trees. He didn't react at first, until he took note of someone familiar sitting in the doorway of what happened to look like a hatch. Sora instantly brushed off his savior's hand, rushing to Cloud's side. The blond was wrapped in a thick blanket, his gaze hollow and concentrated on the ground.

Cloud was the guy who ran the front desk at Cid's shop- a college sophomore majoring in human studies. He was kind, though he hardly talked, and often confessed to Sora things that the brunet knew a person saved for their closest confidant. "Cloud!" Sora exclaimed, reaching out to put his hands onto the blond's shoulders whenever a blade sliced between them- stopping Sora from continuing

He followed the blade to its owner, staring down the brown-haired man with a mildly put-out look. There was a scar running along the bridge of his nose, and his thin lips were pursed into a scowl. Slightly intimidated, Sora took a step back from Cloud- only to bump into someone.

"Riku, who's this?" The brunet man muttered, and Sora looked behind him to see the silver-haired boy, apparently named Riku.

Riku placed a strong hand onto Sora's shoulder, squeezing the thin appendage softly.

"He's what the heartless are after- I think he's what we're looking for." The man before them seemed to contemplate Riku's words for a moment, and then sheathed his sword.

"If we have what we're looking for, then we're leaving." He said gruffly, chestnut locks of hair falling from behind his ear to slip into his eyes- causing Sora to take in the scar that had once seemed so menacing.

Riku stepped past Sora, pushing the brunet back a step- in some kind of assertive manner. "We can't leave- who's that?" Riku pointed a hand to Cloud, and the brunet man shrugged a single shoulder indifferently.

"He's coming with us."

"Leon!" Riku blurted out- ignorant to how Sora brushed past him to approach Cloud once more. "You can't honestly be serious? First of all- I don't think he's your type, and second-"

"Riku." Leon snapped, a single hand jerking out to cut the shorter boy off. Riku's teeth clicked shut, the muscle in his jaw flexing angrily. Sora turned his gaze away from them and kneeled down in front of Cloud, his hands resting on the blond's knees. "Cloud?" He asked softly, though his voice was drowned out by the two behind him.

"He's coming with us." Leon said firmly, his tone one of no-nonsense. Sora's brows drew close together as Cloud remained unresponsive, his eyes an eerily hollow stare into the ground beside Sora. The brunet rose a hand to pat softly at his friend's cheek, but still no response.

"No he isn't! Leon, we don't have room for four people! Ships are built for three!"

"Riku- we have no choice." The dirt shifted, and Sora heard the sound of Leon's boot coming closer, standing beside Cloud and placing a hand on the blond's back. In an instant, Cloud stiffened, his eyes twitching and becoming a fraction wider. Concern etched itself onto Sora's face.

The brunet's gaze fell to Cloud's thighs- finally catching a pool of crimson that clumped

that clung* to the navy blue blanket. Sora hasn't noticed it at first- not until he realized that the sheen was actually blood, most likely Cloud's own. He opened his mouth to speak, when Leon wrenched the blanket away and Sora jerked back from Cloud with a scream, awe and terror striking him.

The instant that Leon had wrenched the fabric from Cloud's body, a hideous black wing seemed to tear forth, stretching out and sending specks of blood flying out- some of it hitting Leon, others spattering against the ship. It was a wicked thing- curled and leathery like a bat's, but the same shade of black as the shadow creatures that had attacked the bus.

Cloud gasped sharply, his back arching as the wing gave a shudder, blood squelching in the joint that connected it to the side of his spine. Pain danced along the blond's face, and he instantly curled into a fetal position, releasing a keen.

Leon turned to Riku, discarding the blanket. "Sephiroth has half of his heart. We can't leave him here."

Sora, fixated on this hideously beautiful display from Cloud- was unable to see Riku's reaction, but heard the silver-haired boy begrudgingly agree to the man's statement.

so many typos. xD;

Fanfic Tiem!

2007-12-15T18:42:12Z

Title: Stumble
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Heroes weren't always just for storybooks.

Over the course of many years, Sora had gradually come to the realization that no matter how alone he felt, how empty inside and out of touch with people he could be, that he could always find solace in his writing.Whenever he'd initially moved away from Twilight Town and to Destiny Islands, Sora had fallen into a depression, induced from losing the daily contact with his best friend, Roxas, and being forced into a completely different environment. Where Twilight Town had been filled with gangs, liberals and high school dropouts, Destiny Islands was full of sports-loving beach junkies. The students were permitted to wear sandals to school and members of the blitzball team were idolized.

Roxas had dropped out from Twilight High whenever his father had died, but the blond had only done so in order to take a paying job to help pull his weight around their apartment. Not long after, Sora's parents had decided to move him out of his home town and drag him all the way across the world to a little island where new sitcoms were the biggest thing and the most popular kid in school could surf like a professional, but couldn't add two plus two.

It had taken a good two years for Sora to adapt to being friends with beach boys and teeny-bopper girls, and he was quite well known throughout the school for being exuberant and easy to get along with. However, Sora had yet to find another person like Roxas that he could connect with, and found most of his free nights sitting at home at the computer. It was the reason Sora had been pleased to get a job at the local surf-shop, interacting with his peers while ringing up boogie boards and swimsuits.

No matter how much Sora could keep himself occupied, it seemed as if every day was a repeat of the previous one, and it sometimes would send the brunet into a sinking depression. Today was one of those days, and Sora found himself seated in the corner of the gym during his last period, notebook in one hand and pen in the other as he scribbled down bits and pieces of a story that he and Roxas had discussed on the phone the previous night. Nearly a year ago, they'd both decided to finally combine their heads to write a story filled with action, adventure, romance and everything that the average teenager secretly desired. Sora found himself constantly filled with ideas for developments in their story, and they'd written hundreds of pages already. It wasn't anywhere near finished, but Sora hoped that one day it could be published into a book and made into a movie.

"Heads up!" Sora glanced up just in the nick of time, gasping and ducking his head as a blitzball whizzed a hair above him, smacking into the wall and then plopping none-too-gently into his lap. He scowled at the offending object, putting down his notebook to lift the blitzball up and examine it. A pair of sneakers stopped in front of him and Sora looked up to lock eyes with sheepish aquamarine ones. "Sorry about that." The teen said, his cheeks flushed with exertion, most likely. Sora tossed the ball up to him and the boy apologized again, running a hand through silver hair before blurting out, "Did you wanna play?" Sora looked mildly surprised, resisting the urge to throw his books down and instead shaking his head.

"Sorry, I have this thing I gotta write." He said, shrugging weakly. The boy looked disheartened but bobbed his shoulders up and down. "Alright then." He said almost too-softly for Sora to pick up, and began jogging back to his small group of friends when his name was called.

Sora watched them for a moment longer before looking back down at his notebook, sighing at the multitude of still-blank pages. He clicked the lead into his pencil and thought for a moment, before writing down a name. The story had two main characters, both of them were parodies of Roxas and himself. Alas, they were well aware that it still needed romance, but Sora had been reluctant to create an entire man just for himself. He didn't want to be so selfish- even though Roxas already had Lae's design entirely filled out and complete with a back story- Sora decided now was as good a time as any, and scribbled down a trial name.

Kiru.

Sora knew exactly what he wanted in a boyfriend. He'd had enough time to himself that he was able to sort out the aspects of the female race that he didn't like, why he didn't like them, and why he would prefer a boy. He knew he wanted a boy who was strong, but not so strong that they couldn't wrestle and have the entire thing be completely one-sided. He wanted someone who understood Sora's humor, but wasn't an idiot. He wanted a guy who could play sports, read books and sit with Sora in a movie theater and not let his hands wander. Sora wanted a guy that wasn't down on himself all the time - he'd had enough pessimists back in Twilight Town to last him a lifetime - but not someone that always took life as a joke.

Sora began to write. From his pencil flowed the most detailed character he'd ever made completely out of his imagination. He didn't stop writing until the final bell rang and students instantly fled the gym. Sora gathered his book bag, sticking his pencil into the pocket of his mildly-ripped jeans and hurriedly exiting the gym. Even though he was a senior, Sora could hardly afford a car, let alone buy the laptop that he desired. Instead, he resorted to taking the bus every day to and from school while saving up his money earned from working in Cid's car shop when he wasn't working at Surfer's Blitz. That was where he found solace -- amidst the older man's crabbing and bitching about Sora's lack of skills in changing tires quickly and efficiently -- Sora had come to the realization that he always had time to think clearly when he was under the hood of a car, tinkering with its mechanics and getting his hands covered in grease.

Sora tugged his headphones out of his pocket, slipping them into his ears and somehow managing to keep hold of his books at the same time. He pulled on the chord to tug his mp3 player out of his pocket, snatching it up and hitting play a second before the brunet was pulled into the traffic of kids. He shifted and bumped his way to the bus area, scoping out his own bus and hopping up the steps, eyes landing on his assigned seat behind the driver and sliding into it.

He leaned his head against the window, eyes slipping shut as the familiar sound of foreign rock music blasted into his head. All around him, kids that lived in his neighborhood shouted and threw paper balls at each other before the bus driver snapped at them to shut up and sit down. It had become routine - and Sora allowed himself to succumb to his music when the bus started up and they began to pull out of the school.

He'd always been one to look for music that most fit what he was feeling at that time, and as images of his faux-boyfriend flitted in his head, Sora's lips moved softly to the chorus of one of the few songs that struck him as something that should have hit the charts better than it did.

"You are the one." He whispered softly, his brows furrowing, "You'll never be alone again; You're more than in my head. You're more..." As the chorus repeated, Sora pressed his head into the window, a wave of sorrow washing over him as the brunet poured more emotion into his soft-spoken whisper than he knew was wise. He released a soft breath of air then the song finished. A song, one that Roxas had suggested, called 'Can't Stop' by The Red Hot Chili Peppers started up, and Sora opened his eyes.

Some sick form of macabre horror rose into his pale eyes, watching something large and black coming straight for the other side of the bus as the drums of the song began to pick up. His heart quickened, a scream tearing through his mouth and joining the yells of the other students as the bus lurched at the same time that the song burst out into the main part. Sora clutched to his seat, concentrating on the song at the same time that the bus began to tilt over.

Kids screamed, slipping down onto Sora's side of the bus, and the brunet vaguely recognized Tidus' terrified face before the blitzball player fell onto him. Sora's breath escaped his chest in a whoosh, Tidus's hair getting into Sora's eyes as everything span. The song barely matched the loud, frightened yells and screams of the other students on the bus. Sora clutched to his seat, one hand instantly wrapping around Tidus' shoulders to hold his friend in place when the bus hit the side, glass shattering everywhere and some of it flying up to cut Sora's cheek and arm. Pain flared up in an instant, and the momentum of the impact sent Sora's head cracking against the metal strip next to the window. Tidus clutched to him, his voice a mantra of "Oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God!"

It was like watching everything from a dream, the music playing in the background as the creak of metal and broken glass matched sobs, screams, yelling, and pleads of teenagers. The bus still rocked unsteadily, and Tidus had yet to release his vice grip on Sora. The brunet's head stomach lurched, everything spinning unsteadily before he registered the soft 'ahhhhhh' from the song that still played on his headphones, another spike of pain flaring up in his head before everything went black.

When Sora woke up, it was a sudden jerk into consciousness, a panic filling him before he even knew why he would be feeling it. His mp3 player was playing a fast-paced song he instantly recognized as being from a movie he'd been fond of. His eyes darted wildly around himself, taking in the sight of broken glass and bodies scattered and strewn all over the interior of the bus. His vision cleared, and Sora suddenly realized that the shadows that were draped all over the bus were moving. Sora couldn't restrain the shriek of surprise that escaped him, scrambling backwards with a sudden panic as one of the small and humanoid shadows fell down onto Tidus' prone form, its small claws digging into the blonde's back. There was nothing on its face exceopt two yellow orbs that concentrated on where its inhuman claws sunk inside of Tidus' body.

Sora couldn't help but feel horrified, unable to move - to tear his eyes from the sight - and his breathing quickened into a panicked and uneven series of gasps, watching as a light began to burst from Tidus' body. The creature retracted its hands, something bright and glowing inside of the little claws. Terror was so evident to Sora that it was nearly asphyxiating him to watch the small monster lift the glowing ball, its head separating to reveal a hole for a mouth, dripping with darkness. The thing shoved the glowing orb into its mouth, hiding the light instantly as Tidus' body shuddered and went still.

A scream tore itself from Sora's mouth and the brunet scrambled back, his body hitting the roof of the bus, his stomach heaving dryly.

--
Unfinished.

-
AHAHAHA

fuck.

2007-11-27T21:29:33Z

Yeah, normally I wouldn't be posting my little emo rants for you guys to see, but this is getting ridiculous.

I'm so stressed right now that I don't even want to do anything. At all. I guess its a mixture of a lot of things. For this past month, my TV Production teacher (of whom I loathe entirely) has asked me to illustrate a Public Service Announcement about Depression. Now, I was all fine and dandy with doing that, even drawing Zexion as the subject of the PSA, but then it seemed like every-fucking-thing that I drew, looked dis-proportioned or just out of whack. So then my one-month time frame began cutting shorter and shorter as I drew less and less because nothing that came out pleased me.
It got so bad that when we had a substitute (who's this creep pervert that works with me at my job, also, and is handsy) and so I was like 'well, I'm sure he'll waive me doing this work in favor of actually geting some shit drawn. I mean, I think wasting my time with busy work is just stupid.

Well, as it turns out, he took away 200 fucking points.
I have a godamned FORTY in his class now.

Failing classes count: 1

I switched english classes a few months ago because my previous english teacher was a Jamaican twit who hated all of the white students in her class and payed more attention to the kids NOT paying attention than to the ones who were trying to actually learn something. so I got this really awesome lady, or so I thought.
Dr. C is a nice, funny, sarcastic and witty teacher who is pretty laid back with a lot of the stuff we do in her class - but she doesn't give two shits about anyone who's failing her class. I thought I had an A in her class, and I asked her one day, and it turns out I had a forty four because of stuff that I apparently didn't turn in. (though I Can recall very clearly that I did do almost all of them)
now I have a thirty eight- because I showed her work that I did and she didn't put it in.

Failing Classes count: 2

I've been behind in Goverment class since the second week, and she has us do at least two worksheets per class and one for homework. I am NEVER caught up and everything is always moving too fast for me to keep track of what's going on.

Failing Classes count: 3

I am so overwhelmed that in my Digital Design class, the teacher told me I had a D (that class is almost COMPLETELY busy work, so I never want to do it because its never any fun.) and I got pissed because I knew I'd done all of it but the stupid busy work, and I moved my tablet out of the way, it hit my USB, which flew into the computer monitor next to me and then bounced off of it and hit the ground. IT looked like I had thrown it. I got so angry that I kept dropping everything that I slammed my hand on the table and put my head down.
And then I started to cry. I was so mad and so upset that I couldn't hit anything that I started to pull my hair out with my left hand and hit my head with the right one. I couldn't breathe, and the lights were out because there was a college rep there, giving a presentation. I kept hitting myself and then I put my head between my legs and pulled at my hair before fisting my hand and punching my head again, continually.

It took me maybe fifteen or more minutes to calm myself down. When the presentation was over, the teacher told me that I should take anger-management classes, because the bitch had watched me beat the hell out of myself and hadn't done anything.

Then, in my TV. Production class, the computer I needed to use to hook up my tablet and start working, was locked with a password. The teacher doesn't know it, but there's a student in 1st period named Ray who we think did. I asked him if I could call Ray and he said he'd get to it when he had a chance. Well, I'm in the corner of the room, attempting to draw some parts and failing miserably, waiting for the teacher to have a free moment. Turns out he had been fucking around for the most part, and kept ignoring me when I was calling him. So when I get the chance, I ask if he can call Ray's class, and he interrupts me with a firm headshake and says "No, I just can't do that."
my response? "Well, I know how to get ahold of -"
"No, I refuse, I forbid you to do that."
and he walks away.
I started freaking out, like, I had a physical fit, scratching, pulling my hair, letting out this keening whine before it broke off into sobs and I couldn't stop.

He comes back later and says "What are you doing?" I muttered that, "I can't get this out." And scribbled my pen angrily over my drawing. and he starts lecturing me about relying on the fucking tablet! I screamed. "THAT ISN'T WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" and covered the sides of my head with my arms and cracked my head onto the table. He leaned in and demanded I explain what was wrong, and I moved away from him.
So he says. "Fine, I'll come back when you're behaving and then you can tell me what's the matter with you."

so he comes back later and I blurt out what's wrong, how I hate my art and I can't stand doing it because nothing I draw comes out. And he interrupts me by grabbing my papers and saying . "No, stop it. Just no. You're a great artist and you have a lot of talent, so stop complaining and just get back to work."
and he walked off.

and I felt so FUCKING insignificant, that I kind of went limp.
and. I've felt like that all day - especially because even my brother doesn't seem to care about what I'm feeling or anything, and it turns out that I can't even confide in my own mother about my siblings, because she turns around and tells them what I said or what she thought I meant.

I just. want. some fucking. BeeXSam slash, or SOMETHING to help me struggle my way out of this proverbial tar pit of despair, self-loathing and doubt.
;--;

FINALLY!

2007-06-04T13:28:00Z

Reverse Eclipse chapter 5 is up! oh god. it went from 38 pages to 26 whenever I went over it and replaced all the OOC scenes and put in better ones and auihaerug. Reno's accent. ugh. now.

now.

I have to work on Carmine Complex and Hero Complex.

and then!

Pink Spider.

dedications in Reverse Eclipse:

Dualism
The Writer, You Fools
Sorceress Fantasia
Random Kyuubi
Stealthe-Chan

I have a boyfriend.

2007-05-10T20:43:14Z

Prom was last saturday and this boy was my date. His name is Stephen and he's thinner than me, my height and has an affinity for darkness. (I LIKE HIM)

SO. On the ride to his house after prom, he grabbed my hand, and I rested my head on his shoulder. He said earlier he would be moving away in a few months, so he wasn't sure if he wanted to start anything. I told him I liked him, and that it was up to him.

at his house, we were messing around in his room (listening to music, watching stuff on youtube, watching his mom drunkenly sing karaeoke.) I was laying on his bed, and he put in a Korn CD and we sang along, he laid down on the bed and rested his head on my stomach.

And then, later we were listening to Marilyn Manson on youtube, and I tried to get him to sit next to me on the floor by tugging his hand- and I surprised him and pulled to hard, and the chair flew out from under him and he fell down next to me. We were laughing and he ran his thumb over my hand and was like. "Alright." In a way that implied "I want to date you... even if I might be moving away in a few months."

I grinned and grabbed his hand in both of mine.

We didn't do much but handholding until the ride to my house- he kissed the back of my hand and I kissed his cheek.

and then gave him a peck goodnight which surprised him as I closed the door to the house.

THAT WAS PROM AND HOW WE GOT TOGETHER.

(/story)

The Songbird

2007-04-09T01:17:17Z

Cloud: Psycho Rooster
Sephiroth: Dualism
Zack: Alternating

He'd lost track of time when the wind began to numb the tips of his fingers and nose. Cloud allowed his eyes to flutter shut as he caught onto a breeze that allowed him to drift along the air without pumping his wings. His tunic fluttered about him wildly, the gold bangles on his wrists chiming and his necklace thudding against his collarbone occasionally. He'd gotten in another argument with Tifa about leaving the outskirts of their nesting grounds, and had taken off. She was far too overprotective of him- Vincent had even said so.

Cloud could take care of himself, he was perfectly capable and the entire roost knew it. His eyes flickered open to peer up at the white clouds dusting the sky, realizing that his surroundings had become unfamiliar to him. Cloud allowed a faint smirk to flicker onto his lips. Regardless of Tifa's mother-hen insincts, Cloud had gone off into human territory again. The lands were always prettier- sometimes filled with buildings and contraptions that never ceased to amaze the blond Zephyr. He was far too busy staring at the large castle off in the distance to pay attention to his surroundings. It was a large white and red building with pires and stairwells, even a moat and a thick wall protecting it from enemies. Cloud couldn't help but mildly wonder what on earth humans would need such a wall for.

{Mðrìð} ...Dual... says:
From his perch atop the highest banister of Midgar Castle, Sephiroth gazed at the sky, face drawn in that sharp sort of amusement that he was rarely seen without. Beside him, his second-in-command stood, leaning lazily against the stone wall at his back.
:
"Balamb's moving," Sephiroth muttered, his fine eyebrows arching contemplatively on his face. "I think Laguna may have finally grown a backbone." He turned to peer at his companion. "What do the scouts say?"

The tall brunet at his side glanced at him, schooling the worry of his face. "Not much," he sighed, scuffing his boots against the stone. "But Balamb's been growing more reckless by the day. Ya'd think they'd have learned by now."

Sephiroth shrugged once, turning to face outward, towards the regal, imposing forest that stretched as far as his eyes could see. It was pretty, really. It would be a shame if he was forced to chop the place down in the name of 'progress.' Fucking Shinra didn't know when to lay off. He opened his mouth, about to growl orders at Zack when a slow, meandering movement in his peripheral vision caught his eye.

Eyes narrowing slightly, leaned forward. It was a...not a bird, it couldn't be a bird, it was far too large. But- ...The figure was that of a man, and suddenly Sepiroth's lips curved upwards in a smirk that sent shivers down his companion's back. "Zack," he drawled slowly, the smirk shifting into a feral grin. "Do you see him?"

Zack frowned, leaning forward. "Sephiroth," he said, voice lilting in something that might have resembled distress if it had been a measure more anxious. "That's a /zephyr/."

The tall, platinum-haired man shrugged once, his face amused. "I know that, Zack," he laughed. His eyes narrowed in challenge then, and he tore his eyes away from the flying figure to his second-in-command. "Shoot him out of the sky."

Zack's eyes went wide. "W-what?! Seph, I can't do that, I-"

Sephiroth's face did not change, but the smirk turned dangerous. "Zachary," he murmured quietly, turning back to the blond in the sky. "That was not a request. Shoot him down."

And really, what choice did Zack have? He squeezed his eyes shut in distress, raised his crossbow, and let his arrow fly.

Cloud's almost didn't catch the small dot that was sailing in his direction, but when it's rapid approach became evident, he flared his wings out to stop himself from heading towards it. The blond wasn't expecting the object to be an arrow, and had no time to move out of the way when it whipped through the air, imbedding itself beneath his left ribs with a loud 'thuck'. Agony flared and Cloud released a shout of pain, his right hand going to cover the rapidly bleeding wound as his wings began to flap wildly in an attempt to keep himself airborne. What had shot at him? He looked up, clutching his lower chest around the arrow and trying to single out whatever could have fired it.

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed, his smirk widening. Oh, the little birdie knew what was going on now, didn't it? "Alright, Zack," he sighed, his eyes never once leaving the wildly flapping zephyr in the sky. "I'll let you off the hook this time. Guards!" he barked, and a group of four men quickly stood at attention. He nodded towards the creature of flight, his eyes drooping lazily.

Oh, what fun he would have. "Shoot it," he grinned. His hands curled on the stone beneath his fingers in anticipation. "But aim only to injure. I will throw the one who kills him off the roof."

"The four archers glanced at each other, faces drawn in muted horror. Wordlessly, they each raised their bows, fingers shaking on the wood. With a gasp, the first released the string, and the arrow whipped through the sky. A second later, three more followed, shrieking through the air like so many harbingers of death."

Cloud's eyes went wide as four more of the pointed weapons shot towards him. He gasped, vainly trying to move out of the way while struggling to stay in the air when the first arrow hit the joint of his left wing. Immediatly after, he shrieked when one hit the very same wing closer to the base, followed by one to his right wing and another striking just below his collarbone. A scream of pain broke forth from his lips, vision flashing black just long enough for the trees to suddenly come rushing up at him.
Uselessly, he tried to stop his descent- each flap of his wings shooting crippling pain through his nerves. He gasped for air, hands held out in front of him and heart thundering wildly in his chest as he hit the forest canopy. Branches ripped at him, slowing his fall and ripping at his tunic. He felt something snag his right wing and screamed when his body jerked before the feathery appendage was wrenched free.

He stretched his wings, wincing and gasping as they were caught within the branches of trees before his head connected with a particurlarly thick one. Stars burst into his vision and he slumped against the branch, heaving for air and clenching his eyes shut in an attempt to regain equilibrium and to quell the blinding pain that fired through every part of his battered form.
:
It lasted for an eternity. Time had no meaning, and the blond had no idea how much of it had passed when footsteps crashed loudly through the trees, and a group of six entered the small clearing. There were four - archers by the look of it, and they each had a dull sort of submissiveness to them that rendered them inconsequential. They weren't important. There was another, tall and brunet, face drawn and worried. For a moment, he almost thought there had been a misunderstading - the brunet staring at him looked distressed, as if he'd only just now realized what he'd done. And then his eyes lighted on the last figure, tall and regal and oh so beautiful. Cloud's eyes widened and he shuddered, pressing desperately back up against the tree. No. There had been no misunderstanding.

The tall, platinum-haired man let his eyes drift over the zephyr's body, pausing at the wounds. Cloud retreated further into the foliage, wishing it was deeper, wishing he could fly. "Zack," the man called over his shoulder, though he did not for one moment look away from the figure pressing against the tree. "Fetch him for me."

Zack's eyes darted over to Sephiroth, a protest ready on his tongue until he caught sight of the sharp look from his general. Releasing a distressed sigh, he placed his quiver and bow down on the forest floor and approached the tree, glacing over to Sephiroth one last time before reaching up to grasp a low hannging branch and swing himself onto it. The brunet man did the same to the next branch, curling himself around the base of the tree so he could reach his destination. The zephyr's wings were weakly flapping- trying to break lose from the branches that held them so tight. The boy himself was vainly attempting to lift his injured body from the branch he was draped over to no avail.

"Shh, it's alright." Zack murmured softly, reaching a hand out to the blond creature. It flinched away, hissing and baring a set of fangs- something he knew zephyrs only did when threatened. Zack retracted his hand for a moment, "It's alright, I'm not going to hurt you." he said softly, taking a step towards the winged boy. Another hiss, and a violent flap of wings that send leaves and twigs raining down upon them. A guttural growl came from low in the blond's throat, but Zack ignored it to reach his hands out and slowly extricate thee closest wing from the branches. He nearly fell off the tree whenever the wing came loose and gave a weak but violent flap at him. He ducked, stumbling back and allowing the blond a moment of space.

"I'm just helping you." Zack swallowed thickly and shuffled along the branch to untangle the second wing. When it came free, he quickly reached down to try and lift the zephyr into his arms. The attempt was in vain- the boy hissed and struggled to a point where Zack lost his grip and the blond fell from the tree. Zack's eyes went wide and he shouted out a warning to his general.

Sephiroth sprung into motion, darting forward and opening his arms. The blond fell into them, pausing, he then placed the zephyr on the ground. He knelt, leaning forward, warm puffs of air escaping his lips and ghosting across Cloud's own as he grabbed the injured appendage roughly between his fingers and examined it carefully. The blond keened and tried to twist away, but Sephiroth ignored the motion, the pressure on the creature's chest unceasing. Moments later, his smirk grew slightly, and he turned his head to the side slightly.

"You're lucky," he chuckled, and it took Cloud a moment to realize the words were not directed at him. "He'll live. Go home today and kiss your wives, and tell them that if any one of you had been a /little/ less good at your jobs, the four of you would be dead."

He turned towards the quivering blond before him, and his lips tilted upwards delicately. Ferally. "You'll be okay, won't you, my pretty little birdie?" he whispered, the words drifting through the wind like poison. He leaned forward, raising a large hand slowly. "Be still, bird," he murmured. "This will only hurt for a moment."

"Sephiroth!" Zack cried, taking a distraught step forward. "Wait!"

Sephiroth didn't

The zephyr released an ear-splitting shriek, bucking upwards into a pained arch as the arrow above his heart was wrenched loose, causing blood to seep from the open wound. He gasped for air, eyes flying wide and hands clutching at the ground. His wings fluttered wildly from beneath him, forcing the blond to jerk about to try and stem the pain that resulted from moving his injured wings and jarring the arrow in his gut.

I have pink hair.

2007-04-05T01:35:13Z

whatcha think?

How well do you know me?

2007-04-02T23:31:47Z

Create your own Friend Quiz here

Try it for yourself. O:

FIC UPDATES.

2007-04-02T01:07:06Z

Carmine Complex has been updated!

Aha.

April fools.

It's only got 11 pages.

The story of how I almost died.

2007-03-29T12:10:42Z

This really happened. D: like, I still remember it vividly since it was yesterday... XD

Another headache inducing song by Bury Your Dead was crackling at a deafening tone from the stereo of Jeff Takeover's buick as he and his younger sister shot down the road towards home. Held in his sister's hand was her freshly earned Learner's Permit- eyes concentrated on the shining reflection that coated the laminated surface.

Jeff didn't think anything of the yellow light that shone from the traffic signal up ahead. The light was always constantly yellow and flashing, since the workers from the corporate businesses on either side of the four way intersection rarely drove on the road at 3:45 on a weekday. He turned jade eyes to the surrounding cars, registering the fact that they had stopped at the light.

"What the fuck is this guy doing?" He murmured with incredulity, gaze darting up to the now- red stoplight. His eyebrows shot up and his heart leapt into his throat.

"Shit!" Jeff slammed his foot into the breaks, catching sight of an oncoming car as they rocketed through the red light. His sister jumped, eyes going wide and her permit falling from her fingers as the car jerked to the left.

"FFUUCK!" The scream tore itself from Jeff's throat as his sister released a strangled yell of her own, their shouts barely drowning out that of Bury Your Dead. The car swerved as Jeff vainly tried to turn it onto the left road, but they had yet to slow down enough from their previous speed of sixty miles, causing the wheels to release an ear-splitting screeching sound as the Buick began driving sideways. "Fuuuuuuckkk!" Jeff roared, hands tugging at the wheel to avoid hitting the car they'd nearly collided with.

"Oh my God! What the hell are you doing!" His sister wailed a mere half-second before they found themselves flying forwards into the grass, the car coming to a jerking stop in a ditch. Shakily, she reached a hand out to turn down the roaring music, repeating her question as Jeff paused to temporarily calm is rapidly beating heart as his sister wailed out a steady mantra of "Oh my God. Oh my God." her hands clasped over her mouth and a weak, breathy laugh escaping her.

"I didn't know the light turned red!" Jeff made a motion with his hand as he hit the gas to drive the car out of the ditch and back onto the road.

My writing schedule and a meme.

2007-03-19T19:50:11Z

Psycho Rooster has her list of priorities made!

Fanfiction:

Hero Complex| Ch.2 Relief.| [The theme of this story's chapters is emotions.]

Viability Complex |Ch.1 Breathe |[The theme of this story's chapters is life]

Carmine Complex |Ch.7 Titian |[The theme of this story's chapters is color in relation to the characters. Think: Hair, eyes, clothes. ;D ]

Reverse Eclipse| Revision of Ch.3

Reverse Eclipse| Ch. 5

Pink Spider| Ch.2 Black Widow

The Marionette| Ch.1 Currently untitled. D:

Roleplays

The Songbird | Dualism | The zephyr, the magical humanoid entities said to control the winds with their emotions with voices so beautiful that even the nymphs would come to listen. To capture one is a sin in it's own right- caging a bird, so to say. When he travels to far from his nest, Cloud finds himself captured in the hands of the feared general of ShinRa, unable to return home. Upon his escape, the young zephyr is thrown into a fight between two kingdoms, a merman wishing to be human, a strong-headed prince after his heart and an air nymph with a temper more fiery than the blacksmith who caught him. [nonconSephCloud] [LeonCloud]

Hysteria | Katraa | Waking up from a coma to find out that the car wreck you were in almost two years ago trashed your memories to a point where your subconscious grasped at what was left to create another world in your mind was hard enough. Sora didn't believe anyone who told him that Kingdom Hearts did not exist. He refused to believe Cloud was his brother- that the heartless weren't real. Still adamant in his belief of the supposedly 'fake' world, Sora's control is broken when he's admitted into Oblivion Glen's Mental Institution under the claim of schizophrenia- just like his cousin Roxas.

The Aussie Effect | Stealthe-Chan | Famous models Axel and Zexion are signed onto a clothing line that is to ensure them world-wide popularity that no longer limits them to Japan. When their bus breaks down half way to Sydney and they're stranded in a rural area of Australia for three weeks, the two teens find themselves falling in love with a pair of blonde-haired, blue-eyed Aussie boys somewhere along the line.

Anything | Katraa | What if Riku hadn't been able to save Sora from Xemnas at the end of the game? Gasping for air, bloody and half-conscious, Riku can't stop Sora offering everything and anything to the silver-haired nobody in exchange for his best friend's life. Just what does anything result in?

The rest are really not anywhere near my priorities list right now-one has no title, actually. So those are what I'm worried most about.

MEME TIME

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. To add my own foible to this meme, I'll tell you my favorite memory of you.
7. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
8. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
9. If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal

I'm making a book...

2007-02-27T21:14:57Z

It's a picture book, from the years of 2004 all the way to 2007. Each year has it's own cover page, and at least three pages filled with pictures and a small paragraph. It's how I've grown and developed over the years. Example:

2005
In '05 I had a lot of things happen to me, some good, some bad. It was when I really started to discover photography and cosmotology, and I learned that not all good pictures have to be at an angle or set on over-exposure to make you look nice. I learned of my fascination with the abnormal and generally weird, and I learned that sometimes being myself is the only way to get through life.

[large image] [smaller image]

[smaller image] [smaller image]

Yeah. All the pictures are of me back in '05, and it shows pretty much what I was like and the things I was into.

So then I got to thinking.. I mean, what if everyone does this? Go and see how far back some of the pictures you ahve are. I have a handful from '04, but not many from '03, so I've decided to start at '04 instead. If everyone makes a scrapbook like this, and makes sure to update it every year, then one day, whenever you're older, you can look back and see yourself as just a teenager, and remember how things were. You can show people, "look what I used to wear when I was in tenth grade!" and they can see that everyone matures and changes over time.

Re-Post this entry with the title 'I'm making a book...' or something similar, if you have ever gone through old photos and remembered when you were young, repost it if you have ever made a scrapbook, or shown people pictures of you two or three years ago. Repost this if you remember what it was like when you were still trying to become an adult and stay a kid at the same time.

MY BIRRRTHDAY.

2007-02-22T11:32:19Z

:D :D :D

My birthday is on March Sixth.... and I'm gonna bug everyone I know to write me Xigba/Tidus ficclets for my birthday.. 'cause I am addicted to taht pairing. -knows that only one person will do it, her RP partner. xD-

Shoo.... uhm. Yeah. I got my internet taken out of my room because my mother saw my myspace and she flipped out ebcause it was set to public and stuff. -had forgotten it wasn't private- And so they were ORIGINALLY going to take my computer out completely but I handed my mom with the wireless internet usb on it instead, since everyone thinks I can't survive without internet. (whether this is true or not is irrelevant. DX )

And... Uhmmm. I am going through all the chapters of Reverse Eclipse and writing notes to myself on what needs to be fixed... and then the next chapter will be posted, then I get to work on Pink Spider, 'cause Dualism most definetly needs it. <3 -smothers dual in love and affection-

Psycho Rooster's Collosal fight with Random Kyuubi.

2007-02-05T23:12:21Z

Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
so......whatcha doin'?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
messin with mah camera
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
.........
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
>_>
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
condusive
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
gaiurgh
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I don't remember the name of this diru song.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
homg XD
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
The time that Xigbar and Demyx get high and Demyx tries to throw the neighbor's cat off the roof.....the cat it Auron's.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
*is
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
okay?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
>.>
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
-sigh-
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
you make me emo sad, chicken who is only involved with breakfast
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
what the hell? why did you put our author's notes at the bottom?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
hm?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I put them at the bottom because the whole reason wer're getting the point across that they shouldenjoy the chapter is BECAUSE it's the only ntoe at the beginning
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
but dedications go at the top
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
It ruins the whole point ofit
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
they don't HVAE to go at the top, you know.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
do we have to fight about everything?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
why can't we just get this stuff done?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Uhm.I am working on HC, aren't I?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I just need to find my notebook
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I just quick-edited it
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
If you hadn't noticed. I added a LOT to the original rough draft
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I knooow
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
never again are we doing this!
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
No more insanely long chapters while having to start a side story
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
no more,
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
-slaps-
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
WHAT IF YOU HAD SAID THAT THE LAST TIME WE HAD TROUBLE?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
CHAPTER TWO.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
REMEMBER?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
WE WEREN'T STARTING A SIDE STORY THEN AN- fuck it all goddammit, DAve's home
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
>_<
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Don'tbe such a baby!
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
It's now really -we-because I have written almost ALL of Hero complex, remember?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I wrote a lto yesterday until the superbowl distracted me
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
BECAUSE YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR FUCKING NOTEBOOK
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I can write, as long as I don't have distractions, you know that
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
IT IS NOT FOLLOWING THE NOTEBOOK
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
That doesn't change the fact that it's still in there, and you're referring to it
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
FUCK
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
It hasn't been following thenotebook since the mugger showed up
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
LETS STOP
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
RIGHT NOW
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I'M SORRY
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
ILU
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I HATE GODDAMN FIGHTING ABOUT THIS FUCKING STORY
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
ARAGHAUG. KAY. RK. LETS LIST.

Carmine Complex, Hero Complex, Reverse Eclipse, Pink Spider, Staircase.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Those are twhat I am/have been working on
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
You have: Carmine and Consanguinity Complex.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
So FORGIVE me if my mind tends to WANDER.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Carmine complex 5, miscellaneous CC parts, Consanguinity complex
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
And I said I was sorry
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I'm just getting really frustrated as of late
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
You said YOURSELF that chapter six will be easier
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
so why don't you just work on it while I finish up hero and cc?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Because then it will never get done, because you have other things to work on
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
ARGH. I WOULD BE WORKING ON IT RIGHT NOW IF I WASN'T BEINGDISTRACTED BY AMANDA
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
DDD:
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Jesus!
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Seriously
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Think about how much I write in one sitting compared to how much you write
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Because we write in different ways
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
IF there are no discrations,I can outwrite you by two pages, if not more. BUT my mother always has me donig shit, and then I get emails and things like that
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I still write just as much as you (most of the time. Sometimes you write more, sometimes I do. We're even.) It's just that I can't write half the fucking chapter in one sitting
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
My brain doesn't work like yours in that aspect
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
EMMa. GO WRITE CHAPTER SIX. FUCKING EY. You've told me so many times about how you can'twrite 5
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
and I will , as soon as I finish Hero complex
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
>.>
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Okay, if you feel like you can
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I just didn't want you to do something you really didn't want to
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
INEVERSAIDIDIDN'T
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
ARGH
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I just randomly DON'T have the motivation
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
For week and a half intervals
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
-slaps- Don't you DARE complain. Because You and I *BOTH* know that that's because I burnmyself out after writing as much as I can. which is a lot more than you do.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
FUCK, LAUREN
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
YOU MAKE MY VAGINA BLEED
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
STOP ACTING LIKE YOU WRITE SOO MUCH MORE THAN I DO. BECAUSE YOU DON'T.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
page wise- no. paragraph and detail wise, yes.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I'm not having this argument.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
And your writing style isn't all-superior to mine either. Yes, I underdetail most of the time. You overdetail. And do run-on sentences
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
VAGINa. EMMA
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
VAGINA
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I'm sorry, but this is stuff I'm seriously pissed about
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
You?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I wasn't even in a KH mood and you started calling me "we're gonna goover our deadile mememe" and I WANTED to take a break from carmine for a week or two. To not even THINK about Kigndom Hearts or the fic
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Which is my point. COMMITMENT. But commitement doesn't work here, because you need breaks! I know that! And I tell myself I shouldn't get frustrated because that's how you are, and I've been doing a damn good job of it up until this chapter!
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
But think- It's not like I haven't written anything.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I've written part of the LMS scene, the volleyball/closet scene, the confession scene, and part of the math scene
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
And I did everything else
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
and when you look at it, we pretty much wrote about the same amount
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
But you did it in broken parts, without notes to me of what to write.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I can't write without notes on what to have
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
lookat that huge math paragraph
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Lauren, when it all comes down to it, I'm dictated by your moods. Notes come from plotting. I can't plot if you don't want to.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
WE already PLOTTED
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
You know what happens, and so do I.but I need notes. I ALWAYS need notes
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
-holds up her book- Vanilla. I have an entire page summary of chapters 6-9.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I can't write them without the notes.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
-greenbook- anything carmien complex. notes notes notes.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
then how come this was never a problem before?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
great
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
boomboom's in
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
-sigh-
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
we can take our anger out on him
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
yo'ure a horrible person.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
......you're the one that punches him in the face and stabs him in the throat
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
My memory is deteriorating.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
>.>
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Well
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I'm serious
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I can't remember anythying.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I mean, I do
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
but stuff I should be remembering, I can't.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I.. I can't even remember the names of these Dir en Grey songs that play.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I need notes because I can't remember them on my own anymore.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Are you hapy now?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
>.> not getting into that. But anyway. I love you, you're my best friend, and I hate fighting with you, especially about our love child.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
D:
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
You're lying. D:
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I'm not.

hmm.

2007-02-05T22:16:49Z

I have half the Dir en Grey songs I used to. I've gone from 80-ish to probably around thirty?

So depressing.

Anyway! The thingie, thing. I'm going tobe filling this out for anyone who comments me! (dual and tara. DX <3 you're the only ones who do. XD )

1) Tell you why I friended you
2) Associate you with a song/movie
3) Tell a random fact about you (but they may not be true)
4) Tell a first memory about you
5) Associate you with a character/pairing.
6) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you
7) Show you my favourite user pic of yours
8) In retort, you MUST spead this disease in your LJ.

I need milk.

2007-02-04T14:02:49Z

The concert was utterly amazing. I got to see Tara and Missy- both of whom I missed like crazy. I gave Tara her birthday presents and Missy kisses. All the muscles in my body are sore, but it was worth it. Kyo and Die were the oens I watched the most- both of them were gorgeous. Kyo was shirtless, and at one point, he started to take off his pants, and EVERYONE could tell he wasn't wearing underwear. His body is amazing. I couldn't stop staring at the curve of his hip and his torso.

I never got to see any of Shinya but his hair- Dith tells me he was too beautiful for words. Just seeing him converted her from a strong Toshiya fan, to an adoring Shinya fangirl. I'm still <3 Die and Kyo, though. Kaoru's wheedled his way up there, though. But Die and Kyo are pretty much tied for first since the concert. Before it was Die Die Die, but watching Kyo preform- guh. So amazing.

I wish I hadn't collapsed- I had been ten feet from the stage, and then I went from ten, to thirty, after having to stay outside and wait for my brother to come get me. They let him in with me free of charge afterwards. He's not really a fan- but I think he likes them better than before because he saw them live. He likes Bury Your Dead, and I pointed out to him that Die was wearing a "Bury your Dead" shirt, and he said he noticed. I think that earned my brother's automatic respect. I grinned like a maniac the entire time, and at one point during Shoku-Benni, my voice broke and I was suddenly able to scream like Kyo's scream.

My throat was bleeding at the end of the concert, but I didn't care.

Greatest. Night. Of. My. Life.

and I got a bracelet! ;D
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v357/PsychoRooster/P1010385.jpg

Sooo... about Carmine Complex.

2007-02-03T23:18:44Z

Uh. Ah. Haha. Well... I think that the readers /must/ understand how extremely hard it is for us to write so much, and that since it's with two writers, it's twice as difficult to get things out. The fact that we basically update once a month is just. Amazing? Yeah. Recently, neither of us have the motivation to write for it though. I think that the most we write was after SO and The Boomerang wrote those Xigbar/Tidus one-shots. I think we might ask the readers to try and submit fanfics or art pertaining in some form to Carmine Complex- if ONLY to help keep our mojo up. DX

sjghaekjiugjaeurghiaerjhgkiaethi

2007-02-01T20:06:11Z

sughiaungkaejrhgnkaejnbvgkiGJKasbrghdfkbglvgkebfjawhgkasryfiaeugjkrhdubgfuiadrngjkaeghiugbhsjyghajkgfuaerfghjkadbnv,aSdbcviSUDNvfkhfkawjenfswhvgkasdbgvjshcajksdg

-unabletoformcomprehensiblethought-

I AM GIONG TO SEE DIR EN GREY LIVE.. AFGHAERGUIADHUBADTHAET

-explodes in utter glree because Dir en Grey is her only favorite band and this is the third time they've been in florida so third time is a charm and aguihaeig <333 -

I forgot what I was doing...

2007-01-31T20:17:07Z

but I know that Dual tagged me It's 6:25 in the morning and I do'nt watn to get out of bed to get dressed for school.

Rules: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks.

[1] I have a fetish for Jack Spicer and Demyx. Don't ask me why. Seriously. My account has like, five fanfics on it all revolving around Jack Spicer. I mean, there's just something about his character, both design and personality, that could have SO much more depth and even MORE originality if it wasn't limited by the guildlines of Xiaolin Showdown. All I can say about Demyx is "Aww. We do to have hearts- don't be mad! D:"

[2] I'm terrified of the dark. Seriously. I have to have a decently bright lamp on in my room to get to sleep comfortably. If not, I start getting images played in front of my eyes, like hallucinations, almost, of things that are most likely to come out of the crevices and shadows of my bedroom and annhilate me in my sleep. It can get so bad that I've hyperventilated once. I'm better now than I used to be, but still. -shudder-

[3] I am *not* a morning person. Srsly. It's very rare to have me wake up and be all 'Cheerio, pip pip" and the days that I AM like that, my family is in shock. Normally, for about the first hour and a half that I'm in the waking world, I don't talk to anyone and I'm very grumpy. And. I always. Always have bedhead. It's a given.

[4] I have a weakness for cats. Mine is actually in my room right now and I spent the last five minutes showering him in love and affection. Now he's walking around my room meowing his head off. Seriously, anything pertaining to cvats- and I'm hooked. Especially afanfic- if it's well written.

[5] I have a sick obession with Xigbar and anything blonde that's underage.

The rest of this is written after I came home from school.

[6] It's nearly impossible for me to finish a fanfic I started because I can never stay in that mood for very long. It's because there's more than one KH fic that I have participation in, and that it's written also by someone else who nags at me to help them write more that Reverse Eclipse and Carmine Complex have gotten so far.

[7] I'm afraid of being intimate with another person. I'm seventeen and a virgin, and I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend once I'd found out that after I finally let him see my breasts (he'd nagged me for two weeks) he went onto his forum and talked about it to his friends. I am very shy bodily, and I hate everything but my eyes and lips, just about. People compliment me and I just DON'T UNDERSTAND. because ALL I can see of myself are flaws flaws flaws.

[8] I cuddle.

[9] I love candy corn and circus peanuts, but I can't eat an entire bag without getting nauseous. D:

[10] The two people I will constantly and endlessly seek approval from are Tara ( onthefloor.livejournal.com ) and Dualism ( dual-avi.livejournal.com )

And. Here is where I make a note that I tag Tara since she's the only one who reads my LJ that I know about. XD <33?

FUCK YOU. FUCK. JUST. FUCK YOU.

2007-01-12T23:49:28Z

I have been trying ALL FUCKING WEEK to get ahold of Yuka. WHY? BECAUSE I HATE HOW WE HAVE THE NEXT CHAPTER OF REVERSE ECLISPE PLANNED. So she fiiinally signs on, and what happens? SHE DOES *NOT* even TRYYY to talk to me about it. I wrote TWO PAGES on all of my ideas for the revision, but she hardly gives it a fleeting thought, and the few notes she does make are 1. taking out black castle because it removes from beast's castle, even though the black castle is nearly compleeetely fallen apart. 2. taking away Peter Pan's most famous line and giving it to RENO. 3. takign tinkerbell's character away because apparently, her only use is to make people fly. THAT IS A LIE.

Here's my entire FUCKING LETTER TO HER. With censorship to prevent too many spoilers.

LISTEN TO THIS YUKA! LOLOL

We need a Tinkerbell, and a scene with the mermaids. You got that? I think we should extend the whole neverland scene, right? It's suppoed to be a week longer, I know, but I aslo am watching the Peter Pan thing, and perhaps if they see the mermaids in Neverlande, that's why Sora and the others don't freak out so bad when they get to Atlantica? And huhmmm...I was thinking that Tinkerbell********* (spoiler censor)? And ***** is replacing ****. XDD Annnd. I think the mermaids can just ****;D What say you?

I also wanted to add some more detail to neverland. I mean, we are totally ignoring the beauty of this world. There's so many places to explore, and I think we're taking advantage of that. I mean, there's the Indians encampement, that we have, only barely, and *****s territory, which we don't even put detail into. There's also Neverland Forest, and the Black Castle, both of which the readers will hardly know about unless we elaborate. The black castle is such a wonderful setting, (in the movie I have, it's where Hook captures Peter Pan, and the famous line "To die, would be an awfully big adventure" Is said.

I was thinking that maybe throughoug the week, **** takes Riku (in an attempt to seduce him) to see the forest, the mermaids, and the black castle, etc. Though Riku always brings Sora along. XD Which pisses ***** off. -nod- Maybe the kiss could happen in Neverland Forest, while there's fairies flying around them. Aww -heart- And.. hook's character needs more depth- parhaps that can be established while Reno is with him, hm?

"The black castle was something from their dreams. It was dark, most likely the reason for it's decided name. **** grinned at them, jumping up into the air and flying across the moat. He waved at them for a moment, signifyin gthat Riku and Sora wait. The **** youth shot upwards until he'd breached the top battlements of the castle and dived down over them. A silence descended down for a few moments before Riku turned to Sora, grasping his hand. The brunette teen glanced up in inquiry, and Riku leaned forward to place a chaste peck to the brunette's cheek as a loud, deafening groan of old metal reached their ears. Both teens looked up in surprise to see the drawbridge slowly lowering as ***** flew through the growing gap between wood and stone. He landed next to them, scowling at the closeness of both boys, and Sora drew away, earning a look of confused hurt from his companion."

I don't have time to put in more, but the black castle is literally all black, there's stone pillars inside, along with stairs and gargoyle and other monsters made of stone inside of it. The ground is slightly damp, and **** shows them that the back is entirely torn out, as if by cannon fire, and flooded by the ocean. The stairs lead up to a pillar covered in vines and such, etc. It's very cool it has skulls and things like that. The movie doesn't put in a lot of description- but that's as much as I gather. we can add in our own detail. and I bet ****** can tell a story about the castle and such. Maybe the story is about the prince who used to live there, until hook destroyed the castle or something, hm? like, the prince took away hook's past lover or something... I was thking that ***** comes with them on this one. And there should eb some implication of ***** being in love with *****. -nodnod-

Neverland forest is an utterly beautiful place. It's like a rainforest, with every plant known to man, and even a few never seen before. tehy're always in bloom, and there's never any dangerous animals around. There's a fairy cove where if you go there, fairies surround you and lift you into the air, like they're playing or something. I can just see this scene where the fairies have pulled Riku and Sora up into the air, and they're floating around, and the fairy dust makes them both glow, and Riku kisses sora, and sora pullsa way after a moment to duckhis head and giggle. XD;;

The mermaid's area is very dark, it seems to be tinted blue. There's also a line in the movie that goes.

Wendy: -sees the mermaids "Oh! How sweet!"

Peter: -looks at her like she's crazy-

Wendy: ".. Are mermaids not sweet?"

Peter: "They'll sweetly drown you if you get too close."

So maybe ***** is like "We can go to Mermaid Cove. You.. can bring Sora along if you'd like." And Riku thinks that **** has finally accepted him, but in actuality, when they're there, **** pushes Sora into the water, and the mermaids come and try to pull Sora down. Riku yells at *****, and ****** rolls his eyes and dives into the water. Riku's anxious, and there's a splash before ***** flies out of the water and drops Sora down next to Riku with disdain.

That's when Riku sets **** straight. "I don't know what you have against Sora. He's done nothing to you!" And he holds Sora to his chest as Sora gasps for air. "Maybe you like me, but that gives you no reason to pick on Sora. You've just shown me why I like him and not you." Or something. ***** gets mad and flies/storms off, and Riku asks Sora if he's all right, Sora nods then smiles. "Y-yeah.. that.. was kind of cool. Scary- but cool." Then Riku helps Sora to his feet and they leave. Mayeb the beach scene is interrupted by **** who wants to show them the forest or the castle or something. We can delay Reno's ****** to later on. -nod- And, the mermaids have blue or green tinted skin and webbed hands, slanted eyes that when they open them, a film of covering flickers over them, if they go above the surface, that film pulls back like a second eyelid. -nod- And like, It shows that every world is different too, since you compare the mermaids of Neverland to Atlantica.

(The original lost boys are Curly, Tootles, Slightly, Nibbs, and the twins..********************************?)

I'm sorry, but for some reason- I'm really not that fond of the indians kidnapping Sora and all. I think we should stick him back as a lost boy and take out that scene. and we could have like, Reno and tigerlilly get kidnapped. XDDD. I'm actually a big fan of the indians, and I don't wanna be all "bad guys!" to them.Haha, maybe like, Reno helps Tigerlilly escape, and she kisses him and he's all "AGJAGR WOMEN GERMS. DXX"

And! We need the crocodile! THE CROCODILE, YUKA.

She.. didn't even fucking answer all of my questions, or act like she cared at all.

And fucking RK is all "write this write this -whine- I can't write this. why aren't you writing? -reprimand-" WELL FUCK YOU RK. CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT IF IT WEREN'T FOR MEm, CARMINE WOULDN'T BE HALF AS GOOD AS IT IS BECAUSE HALF YOUR SHIT IS JUST DIALOGUE.

New Story Information!

2007-01-12T18:17:25Z

In case anyone was aware of it, Carmine Complex has two companion fanfics that go along with it. These are 'Consanguinity Complex' and 'Hero Complex' At the same time the next chapter is posted, we will also be posting the FIRST chapter of Hero Complex, which will be much like a telling of what's happening in Demyx's life during Carmine Complex. As a warning, this story is NOT a humor story. It's going to be deep, with angst strewn about. Please don't let this deter you, however. We hope that you plan on reading it! It takes place exactly after the events in chapter six. (which is to be posted relatively soon)

I miss my old school, MSA ;-;

2007-01-10T23:08:38Z

I hate Palmetto so much. I miss MSA, I'm sorry for leaving you guys, but my mom wanted me too. I miss everyone and I miss not being ignored or made fun of, or called a dyke, a freak, creepy or psycho. I miss everyone being friendly with everyone and giving hugs as greetings and not caring if they were cool or popular or owned the latest fashions. I miss how there was no hatred and it was like one big family.

I hate this school. I hate how they think I have some kind of mental instability becuase of how hyperactive I am. I hate how even the fucking yearbook and newspaper stands on sterotypes because the ones who run it are girls that think you turn gay, and that you can't be born that way, and gossip about who's boyfriend "turned gay" on them, latest couples, and celebrity bullshit. I hate how fucking STUPID people are, how everything is about beign GANGSTER or having SEX, who has the most FRIENDS, who's the PRETTIEST, who's the most HIGH. I hate how people brag about SKIPPING, and how the fucking JOCKS hit the LOSERS with the fucking VOLLEYBALL even though none of them have ever met, and the 'LOSERS' are sitting in a fucking corner, AWAY from the volleyball game.

I hate how nobody asks me how I am, nobody would notice if I was gone, how nobody would care if I died, as long as it didn't affect them.

At MSA, at least everyday was a reminder that I was a person of importance in the world.

The Chicken's list of wishes.

2006-12-11T11:14:25Z

Things I want for Christmas.

1. Fanfic reviews. I work really hard on my stuff and a lot of the time I won't get as many reviews as I had hoped for. As lame as this sounds, just reading reviews will pull me out of a bad mood like that. Search for one of these on ff.net. The Jackalope, The BirdFox Hybrid Productions, Psycho Rooster

2. Tara to come home. Yes, I know. Lame. Tara just being THERE makes me smile. This chick is crazy, a bouncing ball of fangirl love. Her giggle makes me giggle and then choke on air in the process of my gleeful laughter. Blfiau. AND SHE SAID SHE IS GONNA GET ME A LEON DOUJIN. NUFF SAID. (-has a secret fetish for leon-)

3. Music. Music Music. I love music, I need more of it. Music keeps me running on a school day.

4. SOCKS. I need socks because I lose the ones I have. XD;; And I need more.

5. Pants.. I have like, four pairs. IT IS NOT ENOUGH. I need moreeeeee. I love pants. I can wear like, 14-17. Depending on the pants. Just get the 16-17's though, because I think my ass got bigger. -wiggles booty-

6. A nap. Who the fuck is almost wide awake at six seventeen in the morning?

7. A sketchbook. To fill. With my pornographic drawins for Tara. ;D OH. TARA. I DREW FRENCH MAID ICHIGO FOR YOU. I just have to draw flushed Ishida standing in front of him.

8. Pencils and pens. Cause I lose mine. A lot. Like, I was sleeping, and I rolled over and got impaled in the neck with a pencil that I lost two days ago.

9. Roleplay partners. I LOVE ROLEPLAYING KINGDOM HEARTS YAOI. HUR.

10. Hugs. I am seriously deprived of those as of late, I swear to fuckin' god. I need affectionnnnnn. -wiggles-

I REALLY WANT THE EYESHIELD 21 BOOK SERIES. THOSE WHO SUPPLY ME WITH IT, ILLEGAL OR NOT. WILL RECIEVE ANYTHING FROM ME THAT IS FREE AND REQUIRES MY BRAIN.