I often question the realities of my mind.

Inferno
Commission by Amy Mills

'In other news, The Inferno was spotted outside of Midgar late last night in the clutches of Maelstrom's wind. After a perilous battle, neither man was seen. Could The Inferno's flame have been extinguished for the last time? Find out more tonight.' ( Read more... )

Unfinished. but this is what I have so far. :D

( Read more... )

so many typos. xD;

Title: Stumble
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Heroes weren't always just for storybooks.
( Read more... )

-
AHAHAHA

Yeah, normally I wouldn't be posting my little emo rants for you guys to see, but this is getting ridiculous.

I'm so stressed right now that I don't even want to do anything. At all. I guess its a mixture of a lot of things. For this past month, my TV Production teacher (of whom I loathe entirely) has asked me to illustrate a Public Service Announcement about Depression. Now, I was all fine and dandy with doing that, even drawing Zexion as the subject of the PSA, but then it seemed like every-fucking-thing that I drew, looked dis-proportioned or just out of whack. So then my one-month time frame began cutting shorter and shorter as I drew less and less because nothing that came out pleased me.
It got so bad that when we had a substitute (who's this creep pervert that works with me at my job, also, and is handsy) and so I was like 'well, I'm sure he'll waive me doing this work in favor of actually geting some shit drawn. I mean, I think wasting my time with busy work is just stupid.

Well, as it turns out, he took away 200 fucking points.
I have a godamned FORTY in his class now.

Failing classes count: 1

I switched english classes a few months ago because my previous english teacher was a Jamaican twit who hated all of the white students in her class and payed more attention to the kids NOT paying attention than to the ones who were trying to actually learn something. so I got this really awesome lady, or so I thought.
Dr. C is a nice, funny, sarcastic and witty teacher who is pretty laid back with a lot of the stuff we do in her class - but she doesn't give two shits about anyone who's failing her class. I thought I had an A in her class, and I asked her one day, and it turns out I had a forty four because of stuff that I apparently didn't turn in. (though I Can recall very clearly that I did do almost all of them)
now I have a thirty eight- because I showed her work that I did and she didn't put it in.

Failing Classes count: 2

I've been behind in Goverment class since the second week, and she has us do at least two worksheets per class and one for homework. I am NEVER caught up and everything is always moving too fast for me to keep track of what's going on.

Failing Classes count: 3

I am so overwhelmed that in my Digital Design class, the teacher told me I had a D (that class is almost COMPLETELY busy work, so I never want to do it because its never any fun.) and I got pissed because I knew I'd done all of it but the stupid busy work, and I moved my tablet out of the way, it hit my USB, which flew into the computer monitor next to me and then bounced off of it and hit the ground. IT looked like I had thrown it. I got so angry that I kept dropping everything that I slammed my hand on the table and put my head down.
And then I started to cry. I was so mad and so upset that I couldn't hit anything that I started to pull my hair out with my left hand and hit my head with the right one. I couldn't breathe, and the lights were out because there was a college rep there, giving a presentation. I kept hitting myself and then I put my head between my legs and pulled at my hair before fisting my hand and punching my head again, continually.

It took me maybe fifteen or more minutes to calm myself down. When the presentation was over, the teacher told me that I should take anger-management classes, because the bitch had watched me beat the hell out of myself and hadn't done anything.

Then, in my TV. Production class, the computer I needed to use to hook up my tablet and start working, was locked with a password. The teacher doesn't know it, but there's a student in 1st period named Ray who we think did. I asked him if I could call Ray and he said he'd get to it when he had a chance. Well, I'm in the corner of the room, attempting to draw some parts and failing miserably, waiting for the teacher to have a free moment. Turns out he had been fucking around for the most part, and kept ignoring me when I was calling him. So when I get the chance, I ask if he can call Ray's class, and he interrupts me with a firm headshake and says "No, I just can't do that."
my response? "Well, I know how to get ahold of -"
"No, I refuse, I forbid you to do that."
and he walks away.
I started freaking out, like, I had a physical fit, scratching, pulling my hair, letting out this keening whine before it broke off into sobs and I couldn't stop.

He comes back later and says "What are you doing?" I muttered that, "I can't get this out." And scribbled my pen angrily over my drawing. and he starts lecturing me about relying on the fucking tablet! I screamed. "THAT ISN'T WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" and covered the sides of my head with my arms and cracked my head onto the table. He leaned in and demanded I explain what was wrong, and I moved away from him.
So he says. "Fine, I'll come back when you're behaving and then you can tell me what's the matter with you."

so he comes back later and I blurt out what's wrong, how I hate my art and I can't stand doing it because nothing I draw comes out. And he interrupts me by grabbing my papers and saying . "No, stop it. Just no. You're a great artist and you have a lot of talent, so stop complaining and just get back to work."
and he walked off.

and I felt so FUCKING insignificant, that I kind of went limp.
and. I've felt like that all day - especially because even my brother doesn't seem to care about what I'm feeling or anything, and it turns out that I can't even confide in my own mother about my siblings, because she turns around and tells them what I said or what she thought I meant.

I just. want. some fucking. BeeXSam slash, or SOMETHING to help me struggle my way out of this proverbial tar pit of despair, self-loathing and doubt.
;--;

Reverse Eclipse chapter 5 is up! oh god. it went from 38 pages to 26 whenever I went over it and replaced all the OOC scenes and put in better ones and auihaerug. Reno's accent. ugh. now.

now.

I have to work on Carmine Complex and Hero Complex.

and then!

Pink Spider.

dedications in Reverse Eclipse:

Dualism
The Writer, You Fools
Sorceress Fantasia
Random Kyuubi
Stealthe-Chan

Prom was last saturday and this boy was my date. His name is Stephen and he's thinner than me, my height and has an affinity for darkness. (I LIKE HIM)

SO. On the ride to his house after prom, he grabbed my hand, and I rested my head on his shoulder. He said earlier he would be moving away in a few months, so he wasn't sure if he wanted to start anything. I told him I liked him, and that it was up to him.

at his house, we were messing around in his room (listening to music, watching stuff on youtube, watching his mom drunkenly sing karaeoke.) I was laying on his bed, and he put in a Korn CD and we sang along, he laid down on the bed and rested his head on my stomach.

And then, later we were listening to Marilyn Manson on youtube, and I tried to get him to sit next to me on the floor by tugging his hand- and I surprised him and pulled to hard, and the chair flew out from under him and he fell down next to me. We were laughing and he ran his thumb over my hand and was like. "Alright." In a way that implied "I want to date you... even if I might be moving away in a few months."

I grinned and grabbed his hand in both of mine.

We didn't do much but handholding until the ride to my house- he kissed the back of my hand and I kissed his cheek.

and then gave him a peck goodnight which surprised him as I closed the door to the house.

THAT WAS PROM AND HOW WE GOT TOGETHER.

(/story)

Cloud: Psycho Rooster
Sephiroth: Dualism
Zack: Alternating

He'd lost track of time when the wind began to numb the tips of his fingers and nose. Cloud allowed his eyes to flutter shut as he caught onto a breeze that allowed him to drift along the air without pumping his wings. His tunic fluttered about him wildly, the gold bangles on his wrists chiming and his necklace thudding against his collarbone occasionally. He'd gotten in another argument with Tifa about leaving the outskirts of their nesting grounds, and had taken off. She was far too overprotective of him- Vincent had even said so.

Cloud could take care of himself, he was perfectly capable and the entire roost knew it. His eyes flickered open to peer up at the white clouds dusting the sky, realizing that his surroundings had become unfamiliar to him. Cloud allowed a faint smirk to flicker onto his lips. Regardless of Tifa's mother-hen insincts, Cloud had gone off into human territory again. The lands were always prettier- sometimes filled with buildings and contraptions that never ceased to amaze the blond Zephyr. He was far too busy staring at the large castle off in the distance to pay attention to his surroundings. It was a large white and red building with pires and stairwells, even a moat and a thick wall protecting it from enemies. Cloud couldn't help but mildly wonder what on earth humans would need such a wall for.


{Mðrìð} ...Dual... says:
From his perch atop the highest banister of Midgar Castle, Sephiroth gazed at the sky, face drawn in that sharp sort of amusement that he was rarely seen without. Beside him, his second-in-command stood, leaning lazily against the stone wall at his back.
:
"Balamb's moving," Sephiroth muttered, his fine eyebrows arching contemplatively on his face. "I think Laguna may have finally grown a backbone." He turned to peer at his companion. "What do the scouts say?"

The tall brunet at his side glanced at him, schooling the worry of his face. "Not much," he sighed, scuffing his boots against the stone. "But Balamb's been growing more reckless by the day. Ya'd think they'd have learned by now."

Sephiroth shrugged once, turning to face outward, towards the regal, imposing forest that stretched as far as his eyes could see. It was pretty, really. It would be a shame if he was forced to chop the place down in the name of 'progress.' Fucking Shinra didn't know when to lay off. He opened his mouth, about to growl orders at Zack when a slow, meandering movement in his peripheral vision caught his eye.

Eyes narrowing slightly, leaned forward. It was a...not a bird, it couldn't be a bird, it was far too large. But- ...The figure was that of a man, and suddenly Sepiroth's lips curved upwards in a smirk that sent shivers down his companion's back. "Zack," he drawled slowly, the smirk shifting into a feral grin. "Do you see him?"

Zack frowned, leaning forward. "Sephiroth," he said, voice lilting in something that might have resembled distress if it had been a measure more anxious. "That's a /zephyr/."

The tall, platinum-haired man shrugged once, his face amused. "I know that, Zack," he laughed. His eyes narrowed in challenge then, and he tore his eyes away from the flying figure to his second-in-command. "Shoot him out of the sky."

Zack's eyes went wide. "W-what?! Seph, I can't do that, I-"

Sephiroth's face did not change, but the smirk turned dangerous. "Zachary," he murmured quietly, turning back to the blond in the sky. "That was not a request. Shoot him down."

And really, what choice did Zack have? He squeezed his eyes shut in distress, raised his crossbow, and let his arrow fly.

Cloud's almost didn't catch the small dot that was sailing in his direction, but when it's rapid approach became evident, he flared his wings out to stop himself from heading towards it. The blond wasn't expecting the object to be an arrow, and had no time to move out of the way when it whipped through the air, imbedding itself beneath his left ribs with a loud 'thuck'. Agony flared and Cloud released a shout of pain, his right hand going to cover the rapidly bleeding wound as his wings began to flap wildly in an attempt to keep himself airborne. What had shot at him? He looked up, clutching his lower chest around the arrow and trying to single out whatever could have fired it.


Sephiroth's eyes narrowed, his smirk widening. Oh, the little birdie knew what was going on now, didn't it? "Alright, Zack," he sighed, his eyes never once leaving the wildly flapping zephyr in the sky. "I'll let you off the hook this time. Guards!" he barked, and a group of four men quickly stood at attention. He nodded towards the creature of flight, his eyes drooping lazily.


Oh, what fun he would have. "Shoot it," he grinned. His hands curled on the stone beneath his fingers in anticipation. "But aim only to injure. I will throw the one who kills him off the roof."

"The four archers glanced at each other, faces drawn in muted horror. Wordlessly, they each raised their bows, fingers shaking on the wood. With a gasp, the first released the string, and the arrow whipped through the sky. A second later, three more followed, shrieking through the air like so many harbingers of death."


Cloud's eyes went wide as four more of the pointed weapons shot towards him. He gasped, vainly trying to move out of the way while struggling to stay in the air when the first arrow hit the joint of his left wing. Immediatly after, he shrieked when one hit the very same wing closer to the base, followed by one to his right wing and another striking just below his collarbone. A scream of pain broke forth from his lips, vision flashing black just long enough for the trees to suddenly come rushing up at him.
Uselessly, he tried to stop his descent- each flap of his wings shooting crippling pain through his nerves. He gasped for air, hands held out in front of him and heart thundering wildly in his chest as he hit the forest canopy. Branches ripped at him, slowing his fall and ripping at his tunic. He felt something snag his right wing and screamed when his body jerked before the feathery appendage was wrenched free.

He stretched his wings, wincing and gasping as they were caught within the branches of trees before his head connected with a particurlarly thick one. Stars burst into his vision and he slumped against the branch, heaving for air and clenching his eyes shut in an attempt to regain equilibrium and to quell the blinding pain that fired through every part of his battered form.
:
It lasted for an eternity. Time had no meaning, and the blond had no idea how much of it had passed when footsteps crashed loudly through the trees, and a group of six entered the small clearing. There were four - archers by the look of it, and they each had a dull sort of submissiveness to them that rendered them inconsequential. They weren't important. There was another, tall and brunet, face drawn and worried. For a moment, he almost thought there had been a misunderstading - the brunet staring at him looked distressed, as if he'd only just now realized what he'd done. And then his eyes lighted on the last figure, tall and regal and oh so beautiful. Cloud's eyes widened and he shuddered, pressing desperately back up against the tree. No. There had been no misunderstanding.

The tall, platinum-haired man let his eyes drift over the zephyr's body, pausing at the wounds. Cloud retreated further into the foliage, wishing it was deeper, wishing he could fly. "Zack," the man called over his shoulder, though he did not for one moment look away from the figure pressing against the tree. "Fetch him for me."

Zack's eyes darted over to Sephiroth, a protest ready on his tongue until he caught sight of the sharp look from his general. Releasing a distressed sigh, he placed his quiver and bow down on the forest floor and approached the tree, glacing over to Sephiroth one last time before reaching up to grasp a low hannging branch and swing himself onto it. The brunet man did the same to the next branch, curling himself around the base of the tree so he could reach his destination. The zephyr's wings were weakly flapping- trying to break lose from the branches that held them so tight. The boy himself was vainly attempting to lift his injured body from the branch he was draped over to no avail.

"Shh, it's alright." Zack murmured softly, reaching a hand out to the blond creature. It flinched away, hissing and baring a set of fangs- something he knew zephyrs only did when threatened. Zack retracted his hand for a moment, "It's alright, I'm not going to hurt you." he said softly, taking a step towards the winged boy. Another hiss, and a violent flap of wings that send leaves and twigs raining down upon them. A guttural growl came from low in the blond's throat, but Zack ignored it to reach his hands out and slowly extricate thee closest wing from the branches. He nearly fell off the tree whenever the wing came loose and gave a weak but violent flap at him. He ducked, stumbling back and allowing the blond a moment of space.

"I'm just helping you." Zack swallowed thickly and shuffled along the branch to untangle the second wing. When it came free, he quickly reached down to try and lift the zephyr into his arms. The attempt was in vain- the boy hissed and struggled to a point where Zack lost his grip and the blond fell from the tree. Zack's eyes went wide and he shouted out a warning to his general.

Sephiroth sprung into motion, darting forward and opening his arms. The blond fell into them, pausing, he then placed the zephyr on the ground. He knelt, leaning forward, warm puffs of air escaping his lips and ghosting across Cloud's own as he grabbed the injured appendage roughly between his fingers and examined it carefully. The blond keened and tried to twist away, but Sephiroth ignored the motion, the pressure on the creature's chest unceasing. Moments later, his smirk grew slightly, and he turned his head to the side slightly.

"You're lucky," he chuckled, and it took Cloud a moment to realize the words were not directed at him. "He'll live. Go home today and kiss your wives, and tell them that if any one of you had been a /little/ less good at your jobs, the four of you would be dead."

He turned towards the quivering blond before him, and his lips tilted upwards delicately. Ferally. "You'll be okay, won't you, my pretty little birdie?" he whispered, the words drifting through the wind like poison. He leaned forward, raising a large hand slowly. "Be still, bird," he murmured. "This will only hurt for a moment."

"Sephiroth!" Zack cried, taking a distraught step forward. "Wait!"

Sephiroth didn't

The zephyr released an ear-splitting shriek, bucking upwards into a pained arch as the arrow above his heart was wrenched loose, causing blood to seep from the open wound. He gasped for air, eyes flying wide and hands clutching at the ground. His wings fluttered wildly from beneath him, forcing the blond to jerk about to try and stem the pain that resulted from moving his injured wings and jarring the arrow in his gut.

whatcha think?

Create your own Friend Quiz here

Try it for yourself. O:

Carmine Complex has been updated!

Aha.

April fools.

It's only got 11 pages.

This really happened. D: like, I still remember it vividly since it was yesterday... XD


Another headache inducing song by Bury Your Dead was crackling at a deafening tone from the stereo of Jeff Takeover's buick as he and his younger sister shot down the road towards home. Held in his sister's hand was her freshly earned Learner's Permit- eyes concentrated on the shining reflection that coated the laminated surface.

Jeff didn't think anything of the yellow light that shone from the traffic signal up ahead. The light was always constantly yellow and flashing, since the workers from the corporate businesses on either side of the four way intersection rarely drove on the road at 3:45 on a weekday. He turned jade eyes to the surrounding cars, registering the fact that they had stopped at the light.

"What the fuck is this guy doing?" He murmured with incredulity, gaze darting up to the now- red stoplight. His eyebrows shot up and his heart leapt into his throat.

"Shit!" Jeff slammed his foot into the breaks, catching sight of an oncoming car as they rocketed through the red light. His sister jumped, eyes going wide and her permit falling from her fingers as the car jerked to the left.

"FFUUCK!" The scream tore itself from Jeff's throat as his sister released a strangled yell of her own, their shouts barely drowning out that of Bury Your Dead. The car swerved as Jeff vainly tried to turn it onto the left road, but they had yet to slow down enough from their previous speed of sixty miles, causing the wheels to release an ear-splitting screeching sound as the Buick began driving sideways. "Fuuuuuuckkk!" Jeff roared, hands tugging at the wheel to avoid hitting the car they'd nearly collided with.

"Oh my God! What the hell are you doing!" His sister wailed a mere half-second before they found themselves flying forwards into the grass, the car coming to a jerking stop in a ditch. Shakily, she reached a hand out to turn down the roaring music, repeating her question as Jeff paused to temporarily calm is rapidly beating heart as his sister wailed out a steady mantra of "Oh my God. Oh my God." her hands clasped over her mouth and a weak, breathy laugh escaping her.

"I didn't know the light turned red!" Jeff made a motion with his hand as he hit the gas to drive the car out of the ditch and back onto the road.

Psycho Rooster has her list of priorities made!

Fanfiction:

Hero Complex| Ch.2 Relief.| [The theme of this story's chapters is emotions.]

Viability Complex |Ch.1 Breathe |[The theme of this story's chapters is life]

Carmine Complex |Ch.7 Titian |[The theme of this story's chapters is color in relation to the characters. Think: Hair, eyes, clothes. ;D ]

Reverse Eclipse| Revision of Ch.3

Reverse Eclipse| Ch. 5

Pink Spider| Ch.2 Black Widow

The Marionette| Ch.1 Currently untitled. D:

Roleplays

The Songbird | Dualism | The zephyr, the magical humanoid entities said to control the winds with their emotions with voices so beautiful that even the nymphs would come to listen. To capture one is a sin in it's own right- caging a bird, so to say. When he travels to far from his nest, Cloud finds himself captured in the hands of the feared general of ShinRa, unable to return home. Upon his escape, the young zephyr is thrown into a fight between two kingdoms, a merman wishing to be human, a strong-headed prince after his heart and an air nymph with a temper more fiery than the blacksmith who caught him. [nonconSephCloud] [LeonCloud]

Hysteria | Katraa | Waking up from a coma to find out that the car wreck you were in almost two years ago trashed your memories to a point where your subconscious grasped at what was left to create another world in your mind was hard enough. Sora didn't believe anyone who told him that Kingdom Hearts did not exist. He refused to believe Cloud was his brother- that the heartless weren't real. Still adamant in his belief of the supposedly 'fake' world, Sora's control is broken when he's admitted into Oblivion Glen's Mental Institution under the claim of schizophrenia- just like his cousin Roxas.

The Aussie Effect | Stealthe-Chan | Famous models Axel and Zexion are signed onto a clothing line that is to ensure them world-wide popularity that no longer limits them to Japan. When their bus breaks down half way to Sydney and they're stranded in a rural area of Australia for three weeks, the two teens find themselves falling in love with a pair of blonde-haired, blue-eyed Aussie boys somewhere along the line.

Anything | Katraa | What if Riku hadn't been able to save Sora from Xemnas at the end of the game? Gasping for air, bloody and half-conscious, Riku can't stop Sora offering everything and anything to the silver-haired nobody in exchange for his best friend's life. Just what does anything result in?

The rest are really not anywhere near my priorities list right now-one has no title, actually. So those are what I'm worried most about.

MEME TIME

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. To add my own foible to this meme, I'll tell you my favorite memory of you.
7. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
8. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
9. If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal

It's a picture book, from the years of 2004 all the way to 2007. Each year has it's own cover page, and at least three pages filled with pictures and a small paragraph. It's how I've grown and developed over the years. Example:

2005
In '05 I had a lot of things happen to me, some good, some bad. It was when I really started to discover photography and cosmotology, and I learned that not all good pictures have to be at an angle or set on over-exposure to make you look nice. I learned of my fascination with the abnormal and generally weird, and I learned that sometimes being myself is the only way to get through life.

[large image] [smaller image]



[smaller image] [smaller image]



Yeah. All the pictures are of me back in '05, and it shows pretty much what I was like and the things I was into.

So then I got to thinking.. I mean, what if everyone does this? Go and see how far back some of the pictures you ahve are. I have a handful from '04, but not many from '03, so I've decided to start at '04 instead. If everyone makes a scrapbook like this, and makes sure to update it every year, then one day, whenever you're older, you can look back and see yourself as just a teenager, and remember how things were. You can show people, "look what I used to wear when I was in tenth grade!" and they can see that everyone matures and changes over time.

Re-Post this entry with the title 'I'm making a book...' or something similar, if you have ever gone through old photos and remembered when you were young, repost it if you have ever made a scrapbook, or shown people pictures of you two or three years ago. Repost this if you remember what it was like when you were still trying to become an adult and stay a kid at the same time.

:D :D :D

My birthday is on March Sixth.... and I'm gonna bug everyone I know to write me Xigba/Tidus ficclets for my birthday.. 'cause I am addicted to taht pairing. -knows that only one person will do it, her RP partner. xD-

Shoo.... uhm. Yeah. I got my internet taken out of my room because my mother saw my myspace and she flipped out ebcause it was set to public and stuff. -had forgotten it wasn't private- And so they were ORIGINALLY going to take my computer out completely but I handed my mom with the wireless internet usb on it instead, since everyone thinks I can't survive without internet. (whether this is true or not is irrelevant. DX )

And... Uhmmm. I am going through all the chapters of Reverse Eclipse and writing notes to myself on what needs to be fixed... and then the next chapter will be posted, then I get to work on Pink Spider, 'cause Dualism most definetly needs it. <3 -smothers dual in love and affection-

Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
so......whatcha doin'?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
messin with mah camera
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
.........
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
>_>
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
condusive
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
gaiurgh
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I don't remember the name of this diru song.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
homg XD
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
The time that Xigbar and Demyx get high and Demyx tries to throw the neighbor's cat off the roof.....the cat it Auron's.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
*is
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
okay?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
>.>
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
-sigh-
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
you make me emo sad, chicken who is only involved with breakfast
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
what the hell? why did you put our author's notes at the bottom?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
hm?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I put them at the bottom because the whole reason wer're getting the point across that they shouldenjoy the chapter is BECAUSE it's the only ntoe at the beginning
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
but dedications go at the top
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
It ruins the whole point ofit
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
they don't HVAE to go at the top, you know.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
do we have to fight about everything?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
why can't we just get this stuff done?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Uhm.I am working on HC, aren't I?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I just need to find my notebook
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I just quick-edited it
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
If you hadn't noticed. I added a LOT to the original rough draft
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I knooow
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
never again are we doing this!
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
No more insanely long chapters while having to start a side story
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
no more,
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
-slaps-
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
WHAT IF YOU HAD SAID THAT THE LAST TIME WE HAD TROUBLE?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
CHAPTER TWO.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
REMEMBER?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
WE WEREN'T STARTING A SIDE STORY THEN AN- fuck it all goddammit, DAve's home
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
>_<
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Don'tbe such a baby!
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
It's now really -we-because I have written almost ALL of Hero complex, remember?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I wrote a lto yesterday until the superbowl distracted me
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
BECAUSE YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR FUCKING NOTEBOOK
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I can write, as long as I don't have distractions, you know that
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
IT IS NOT FOLLOWING THE NOTEBOOK
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
That doesn't change the fact that it's still in there, and you're referring to it
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
FUCK
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
It hasn't been following thenotebook since the mugger showed up
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
LETS STOP
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
RIGHT NOW
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I'M SORRY
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
ILU
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I HATE GODDAMN FIGHTING ABOUT THIS FUCKING STORY
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
ARAGHAUG. KAY. RK. LETS LIST.

Carmine Complex, Hero Complex, Reverse Eclipse, Pink Spider, Staircase.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Those are twhat I am/have been working on
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
You have: Carmine and Consanguinity Complex.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
So FORGIVE me if my mind tends to WANDER.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Carmine complex 5, miscellaneous CC parts, Consanguinity complex
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
And I said I was sorry
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I'm just getting really frustrated as of late
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
You said YOURSELF that chapter six will be easier
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
so why don't you just work on it while I finish up hero and cc?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Because then it will never get done, because you have other things to work on
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
ARGH. I WOULD BE WORKING ON IT RIGHT NOW IF I WASN'T BEINGDISTRACTED BY AMANDA
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
DDD:
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Jesus!
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Seriously
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Think about how much I write in one sitting compared to how much you write
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Because we write in different ways
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
IF there are no discrations,I can outwrite you by two pages, if not more. BUT my mother always has me donig shit, and then I get emails and things like that
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I still write just as much as you (most of the time. Sometimes you write more, sometimes I do. We're even.) It's just that I can't write half the fucking chapter in one sitting
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
My brain doesn't work like yours in that aspect
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
EMMa. GO WRITE CHAPTER SIX. FUCKING EY. You've told me so many times about how you can'twrite 5
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
and I will , as soon as I finish Hero complex
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
>.>
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Okay, if you feel like you can
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I just didn't want you to do something you really didn't want to
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
INEVERSAIDIDIDN'T
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
ARGH
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I just randomly DON'T have the motivation
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
For week and a half intervals
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
-slaps- Don't you DARE complain. Because You and I *BOTH* know that that's because I burnmyself out after writing as much as I can. which is a lot more than you do.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
FUCK, LAUREN
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
YOU MAKE MY VAGINA BLEED
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
STOP ACTING LIKE YOU WRITE SOO MUCH MORE THAN I DO. BECAUSE YOU DON'T.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
page wise- no. paragraph and detail wise, yes.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I'm not having this argument.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
And your writing style isn't all-superior to mine either. Yes, I underdetail most of the time. You overdetail. And do run-on sentences
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
VAGINa. EMMA
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
VAGINA
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I'm sorry, but this is stuff I'm seriously pissed about
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
You?
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I wasn't even in a KH mood and you started calling me "we're gonna goover our deadile mememe" and I WANTED to take a break from carmine for a week or two. To not even THINK about Kigndom Hearts or the fic
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Which is my point. COMMITMENT. But commitement doesn't work here, because you need breaks! I know that! And I tell myself I shouldn't get frustrated because that's how you are, and I've been doing a damn good job of it up until this chapter!
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
But think- It's not like I haven't written anything.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I've written part of the LMS scene, the volleyball/closet scene, the confession scene, and part of the math scene
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
And I did everything else
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
and when you look at it, we pretty much wrote about the same amount
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
But you did it in broken parts, without notes to me of what to write.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I can't write without notes on what to have
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
lookat that huge math paragraph
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Lauren, when it all comes down to it, I'm dictated by your moods. Notes come from plotting. I can't plot if you don't want to.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
WE already PLOTTED
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
You know what happens, and so do I.but I need notes. I ALWAYS need notes
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
-holds up her book- Vanilla. I have an entire page summary of chapters 6-9.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I can't write them without the notes.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
-greenbook- anything carmien complex. notes notes notes.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
then how come this was never a problem before?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
great
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
boomboom's in
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
-sigh-
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
we can take our anger out on him
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
yo'ure a horrible person.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
......you're the one that punches him in the face and stabs him in the throat
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
My memory is deteriorating.
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
>.>
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
Well
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I'm serious
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I can't remember anythying.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I mean, I do
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
but stuff I should be remembering, I can't.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I.. I can't even remember the names of these Dir en Grey songs that play.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
I need notes because I can't remember them on my own anymore.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
Are you hapy now?
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
>.> not getting into that. But anyway. I love you, you're my best friend, and I hate fighting with you, especially about our love child.
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
D:
Psycho Rooster - The True Fake Albino says:
You're lying. D:
Random Kyuubi- HI HELEN says:
I'm not.

I have half the Dir en Grey songs I used to. I've gone from 80-ish to probably around thirty?

So depressing.

Anyway! The thingie, thing. I'm going tobe filling this out for anyone who comments me! (dual and tara. DX <3 you're the only ones who do. XD )

1) Tell you why I friended you
2) Associate you with a song/movie
3) Tell a random fact about you (but they may not be true)
4) Tell a first memory about you
5) Associate you with a character/pairing.
6) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you
7) Show you my favourite user pic of yours
8) In retort, you MUST spead this disease in your LJ.

The concert was utterly amazing. I got to see Tara and Missy- both of whom I missed like crazy. I gave Tara her birthday presents and Missy kisses. All the muscles in my body are sore, but it was worth it. Kyo and Die were the oens I watched the most- both of them were gorgeous. Kyo was shirtless, and at one point, he started to take off his pants, and EVERYONE could tell he wasn't wearing underwear. His body is amazing. I couldn't stop staring at the curve of his hip and his torso.

I never got to see any of Shinya but his hair- Dith tells me he was too beautiful for words. Just seeing him converted her from a strong Toshiya fan, to an adoring Shinya fangirl. I'm still <3 Die and Kyo, though. Kaoru's wheedled his way up there, though. But Die and Kyo are pretty much tied for first since the concert. Before it was Die Die Die, but watching Kyo preform- guh. So amazing.

I wish I hadn't collapsed- I had been ten feet from the stage, and then I went from ten, to thirty, after having to stay outside and wait for my brother to come get me. They let him in with me free of charge afterwards. He's not really a fan- but I think he likes them better than before because he saw them live. He likes Bury Your Dead, and I pointed out to him that Die was wearing a "Bury your Dead" shirt, and he said he noticed. I think that earned my brother's automatic respect. I grinned like a maniac the entire time, and at one point during Shoku-Benni, my voice broke and I was suddenly able to scream like Kyo's scream.

My throat was bleeding at the end of the concert, but I didn't care.

Greatest. Night. Of. My. Life.

and I got a bracelet! ;D
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v357/PsychoRooster/P1010385.jpg

Uh. Ah. Haha. Well... I think that the readers /must/ understand how extremely hard it is for us to write so much, and that since it's with two writers, it's twice as difficult to get things out. The fact that we basically update once a month is just. Amazing? Yeah. Recently, neither of us have the motivation to write for it though. I think that the most we write was after SO and The Boomerang wrote those Xigbar/Tidus one-shots. I think we might ask the readers to try and submit fanfics or art pertaining in some form to Carmine Complex- if ONLY to help keep our mojo up. DX

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-unabletoformcomprehensiblethought-

I AM GIONG TO SEE DIR EN GREY LIVE.. AFGHAERGUIADHUBADTHAET

-explodes in utter glree because Dir en Grey is her only favorite band and this is the third time they've been in florida so third time is a charm and aguihaeig <333 -